


Rosa Sangue

by OldAkira_kun (Akira_kun)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Forbidden Love, M/M, Ninja, Other Pairings - Freeform, Samurai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 10:58:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/939173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akira_kun/pseuds/OldAkira_kun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"In a world ruled by Samurai, breaking the code had terrific consequences. But what if love was the reason for rebellion? What if love was the motive for defying the sacred code? And what if the one defying it was the most important samurai of all?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: The future emperor, the samurai and the geisha.

**Author's Note:**

> ShiIta is the main paring but there are other pairings in the fic (that I wont tag or some of theplot might be revealed). Keep that in mind, please.
> 
> This fic is set in a samurai era. However, it's not the Japanese samurai era. So, if you know a lot about Japanese samurai and noticed that something on this fic doesn't fit correctly with the information that we all have about the real samurai, understand that these samurai aren't following the same codes Japanese samurai did. I based it on some of the samurai culture to write this fic, but it isn't entirely based on it. Please keep that in mind. Also, samurai, ninja, and geisha are Japanese words that don't have a plural from. It's one samurai, two samurai, lots of samurai. And the same applies for ninja and geisha.
> 
> The title of the fic means "rose blood" in Portuguese. It's the title of a song from a Portuguese band that I really adore. There is a small quote from the song in the first and second chapters that I'll translate at the bottom of the chapters. In case you're interested in the full song translation, feel free to ask that and I'll gladly translate it for you.

**Prologue:** _The future emperor, the samurai and the geisha._

The Uchiha clan was one of the most powerful and influential clans in the Fire Empire. Being an ancient samurai clan, they had a close connection to the Emperor. They acted as the Emperor's special guard and the Head of the clan had the privilege of becoming the General of the Emperor's army as well as one of his personal counsellors. To be an Uchiha was of great honour and importance. For the common people, an Uchiha was similar to royalty in the eyes of the people and it was a blessing to enter the family by marriage. When a male Uchiha was born (as females were only allowed to marry within the family), all commoners dreamed that their daughter would be the fated one to marry the future samurai. And when the Uchiha boy would reached the age of fourteen, the tradition of finding an acceptable bride for him would begin. For that reason, an Uchiha engagement and marriage was always an important event. Not only for the commoners, but also for the clan itself.

Uchiha Kagami was married to a beautiful noblewoman and his first and only son was born shortly after he had become the 24th Head of the Uchiha clan. And when, following his duties, Kagami became the General of the Emperor's army; he wasn't expecting to actually become a close friend with the Emperor himself. His son grew up within the palace's walls and with the royal family's affection. The Emperor was actually very found of the boy himself and that alone made Kagami proud.

One day, Hiashi (the Emperor), called Kagami to his personal chambers and confided to his dear friend that his wife was finally pregnant. After more than fifteen years of marriage and numerous disappointments, they were blessed with a stable pregnancy. Hiashi was was beside himself with the joy of finally having an heir and even when the child was born a girl, his happiness wasn't shattered.

"My beautiful Hinata will be Empress one day, Kagami" Hiashi told his army's General and private counsellor with a truthful smile on his face while holding his newborn baby. "She will have to rule all this empire by herself. It won't be easy and she will have to fight a very tough battle to be accepted and successful on her fate."

Kagami silently agreed.

"And that's why I want to make sure that my daughter will always have someone to support her through her arduous path in life. I want her to have someone at her side like I have you. I want to be absolutely sure that my daughter will rule this empire better than I do and she'll have someone to hold her in place every time she loses her balance" the Emperor stated, looking directly into the General's eyes. "Kagami, I want your son to marry my daughter."

Before such a direct request from the Emperor himself, Kagami could only agree. Deep inside, be was exploding in joy. His son would be the 25th Head of the Uchiha clan, the General of the Army and Emperor's consort. Kagami smiled. Shisui had a bright future ahead of him.

 

**xxx**

Growing up with the weight of becoming the Head of the Uchiha clan over his shoulders was something Shisui got used to. By the age of seven, he knew pretty well that he would follow his father's steps one day, became a great Head and General and serve the future Emperor with all his soul. Four years later, the future "emperor" turned out to be an empress and his wife to be. In one day, Shisui watched his life turned upside down just because he was promised to marry the Emperor's daughter. Everyone started to treat him differently, like he was a prince or something, and Shisui didn't like it. His family moved to the palace instead of the wealthy house in the village and he had servants exclusively for himself. He felt weird, like they were imprisoning him with a duty he didn't agree to. However, Shisui controlled his displease and accepted his fate.

When Shisui turned fourteen, his father decided that he needed someone he could trust and that would serve him and protect him on any occasion. Shisui had servants, so he knew that person wouldn't be there to do chores for him. He fully understood that this person, whoever it would be, would be there by his side to act more like a bodyguard than a servant. Someone who would give his life to protect Shisui. What Shisui wasn't counting on was that said person would be his eight year old cousin.

Shisui laughed hard at his cousin's face when the younger boy was presented to him as his special servant. He laughed even harder when his father told him that he shouldn't judge his cousin by his young body and appearance. And Shisui only stopped laughing and widened his eyes in full surprise when, in a fast movement, his little cousin hit him twice with a bamboo katana and knocked him to the floor. If that was a real katana, Shisui would have been dead in less than two seconds.

"Damn, so you are as good as they say" Shisui breathed, still lying on the floor with the bamboo katana pointed at his chest, his dark eyes meeting his cousin's.

"No," the child responded, not a single emotion showed on his face, while turning around and returning to his previous place. "I'm better."

A smirk ripped through Shisui's lips. That kid, Itachi, was something.

 

**xxx**

As Shisui's personal guard slash servant, Itachi got a room in the palace for himself. He visited his family on the weekend or if Shisui would go to the village. Both boys would train and study together for the following years and a very close friendship would be created. Even with the age gap between them, Shisui trusted Itachi like a true brother.

The years passed by and the boys gradually became men. Then, on a random day when he was seventeen, Shisui met a particular woman that would influence the rest of his life. Itachi was with him, of course, they were on a mission heading to a close village when Shisui, without noticing, bumped into her. She cursed like a man and both boys stared at her like she was something from another world. She was also dressed like a man, wearing hakama and a haori instead of the typical yukata the women wear. Shisui noted that, even if she was dressed like a man, her clothes were expensive and she wasn't even trying to hide her physical attributes. The woman looked at him, who was taller than her by two inches, like she would hurt him if he tried to do anything to her. Itachi carefully grabbed the hilt of his katana, ready to strike. But Shisui smiled to the strange woman.

"Are you a samurai's daughter?" he asked, simple and plain. There was no formality on his voice, but there was no rudeness either. He was talking to her like she was an old friend.

"Maybe" she answered, eyeing him from head to toes. "Why are you asking?"

"Because you look like you're someone from a wealthy family. I would expect you to be wearing a silk kimono and walking like a high class noble. And yet, here you have clearly wealthy male clothes and an attitude of a landlord or a businessman" Shisui declared and she gave him a grin.

"You're a smart kid" she commented, crossing her arms. "I think we should be friends."

And that was how Uchiha Shisui, future Emperor's Consort, met the Geisha House owner: Mitarashi Anko. The woman was almost ten years older than Shisui and they became instant friends. Anko's teahouse was famous because she had the best geisha and the customers loved their services. However, the Geisha House was not particularly well-liked within the palace, so Shisui asked Itachi to keep silent about that day.

It took him long years to convince his father that he wasn't having an affair with the older woman and that they were only good friends. After a lot of arguments and discussions, Shisui earned the right to meet with his friend as long as it was in a public place and outside of the woman's teahouse. Anko became a permanent presence in Shisui and Itachi's lives. The perverted woman that dressed like a man during the day and the highest ranking geisha at night had a personality that both Uchiha were found of (even if Itachi frequently lost his mind with her and abandoned the place where they were meeting). And just like the boys were fond of her, Anko grew to see them as very close and dear friends.

When Itachi turned sixteen, the ' _let's find the Uchiha samurai a bride_ ' mission was on again. From out of the blue, young girls started to show up in the village, old family friends started to introduce their daughters to Itachi and even his parents were trying to set him up with a girl. Itachi was getting more agitated by the day and Shisui and Anko were making fun of him in the middle of it all. Shisui didn't care much that his sixteen year old cousin wasn't interested in a bride yet. Itachi had so much potential as a samurai and he was always busy with his practices and accompanying Shisui everywhere, he didn't have time for a girl. Besides, he had time to get married in the future. Anko, on the other hand, like to say that the reason why Itachi didn't want a bride was because he was in love with her and needed to be a little older before they could marry.

The time passed again and the frenzy around Itachi's possible bride started to fade until it was almost forgotten. It wasn't unusual for some samurai, the ones devoted to a cause or to someone, to remain single for the rest of their lives. No one actually wanted that kind of future for Itachi, but it wouldn't be odd for him to choose that path.

Itachi turned nineteen in the end of that special year's spring. It was a special year because Shisui would get married on his bride's birthday. Shisui knew since Hinata's birth that day would come. He just wasn't prepared to chance vows with a girl for whom he cared a lot, but didn't love. Anko told him that loveless marriages happened all the time. That love was something that would come after. She also reminded Shisui that the girl was still young, and once she had fully matured, he would feel much more interest. With that thought in mind, the summer started and, with it, Shisui's nightmare came along.

**\- TBC -**


	2. One

" _É só o amor desfeito,_ _ **Rosa sangue**_ _ao peito, Lágrima que deito, Sem voltar atrás!" (1)_

* * *

Anko watched Shisui entering her chambers while she was finishing her geisha makeup. They weren't supposed to meet in her teahouse after sunset, but that rule was broken many years before. The younger man closed the door and sat on the tatami floor. He was in a bad mood and she could tell just by looking at him. Shisui wasn't the kind of man that was usually upset. He tried to see things in a positive perspective and his ability to keep his calm was always a factor. But on that day, for a reason Anko didn't know, Shisui was irritated. The older geisha returned to her makeup and waited until the Uchiha felt like talking. That was a part of their routine every time Shisui was mad at something or someone. He would show up, she would keep going about her routine and, when he felt like it, they would talk. So Anko finished her makeup, wrote a letter, yelled at two of her girls and kicked out an idiot 'client' before Shisui looked at her in the eye. Anko sat in front of her friend, a bottle of sake in hand, ears ready to listen to him.

"I don't like spending the entire day with Hinata" he confessed, taking a sip from the sake bottle and tsk-ing. "She's a child, I can't have a decent conversation with her for more than twenty minutes! And I can't have a decent conversation with Itachi when she's around because that will look like I'm ignoring her! And Itachi goes all  _'I'm just a servant who's mute_ ' mode when I'm with her! And that stupid guard of hers glares at me all the time!"

"Wow, you sound just like you did when we met" Anko commented and he narrowed his eyes at her. The woman chuckled. "You have to spend time with your future wife, Shisui, you know that. And it's normal that Itachi behaves himself around the future Empress. He behaves perfectly every time one of my girls or a samurai is around, it's called being polite."

"He's way too polite when he shouldn't be!" Shisui declared, hissing and sipping his sake. "I know I'll have to spend time with Hinata because she's going to be my wife soon. But what am I suppose to talk to her about? Tea? We don't have a conversation subject that's interesting for both of us! She likes flowers and she talks about flowers and the only thing that I know about flowers was that they smell good."

"You're not really that mad because you don't have a conversation topic with your future wife, are you?" Anko asked and Shisui clucked his tongue and crossed his arms. "What's really going on, Shisui?"

"You damn woman, you know me way too damn well" he growled, messing his hair with a hand and sighing before bringing the sake cup to his mouth. "Itachi refused another girl. This one was the daughter of the richest man in town."

"Itachi has been refusing girls since your mother tried to arrange a marriage between him and Hanabi-hime, four years ago" the woman chuckled, filling Shisui's cup with more sake. "He refused all of my girls, all the girls in town and all the girls from samurai families. I think it's pretty clear that Itachi doesn't want to have a bride anytime soon" she grinned before continuing "or... maybe he already has someone."

"He doesn't have  _someone_ ; he spends all his time with me! He doesn't even know what boobs are!" the Uchiha declared, tapping his hand on his knee. "Or better saying, he only knows what boobs are because you decided to shove yours in his face when he was thirteen!"

"In my defence, he was staring at them" Anko laughed, drinking her dose of sake and purring some more. "But really, Shisui, talk to him. He might be crushing on some girl and doesn't want to marry anyone else. Or he's just not interested in getting married and wants to serve the empire for the rest of his life."

"I don't want him to serve the empire for the rest of his life" Shisui's voice sounded low and deep. His eyes were fixed on the sake bottle and his expression was a sad one. He knew what happened to the men that decided to serve the empire with their lives. He knew they would be sent to war, the front lines, and probably die a terrible death, all alone. Shisui didn't want his little cousin and best friend to become like that. Itachi was too great a samurai to die unknown on the front lines of a stupid battle. Shisui cared too much about him to let him disappear like that. "He could just get a damn woman as his bride and marry her, keep doing his job as my guard and later became my first Captain. He would be safe, in the village and one of the battle minds instead of a battle pawn. We would win the fucking war if he was the mastermind."

"Have you told him that?" the geisha questioned, a soft smile on her lips. "I came to love Itachi as a little brother. I don't want him to serve the empire so I won't ever see him again. But he doesn't see me as a sister, he won't listen to me. He will listen to you."

"I tried to get him a bride but he-"

"Don't try to get him a bride, Shisui! Itachi doesn't care about a random woman" Anko stated, taking Shisui's cup from his hand and emptying it into her mouth. "Try to make him see why he  _needs_  to get a woman. Tell him how he can change the war and where he might be standing instead."

"You think that might work?" he asked, honestly, without uncertain that his little cousin would listen to him or that he would even make any kind of difference.

"It's the difference between dying unknown on the front lines of a stupid battle or be the mastermind that ended the war" Anko smiled again. "Even Itachi would consider that."

**xxx**

From the balcony of his room, Shisui had a clear view of the training grounds of the palace. He liked to see the younger kids training there in the morning, but the show changed drastically once the sun had set. No one practiced at night, so it was the favourite time of day for Itachi to go there and have his private training. Shisui got used to going to his room after dinner and sitting on the balcony with a mug of tea, to enjoy the night time. He knew that Itachi would be training there every night, and every night he would hear his cousin's training and movements, without paying much attention. But on that particular night, his dark eyes were fixed on the younger Uchiha's body and movements.

Itachi was a great samurai, no one could deny it. He was only nineteen but his skill and technique already matched that of the stronger samurai. Shisui was sure his cousin had a bright future ahead of him. Hell, if the next Head of the clan was chosen by skills and not birth, Shisui bet it would have been Itachi as the chosen one. And that was one of the reasons he didn't understand why Itachi wouldn't want to marry and get himself off the empire duty.

That was an ancient law in the Fire Empire. At least one male per family should be serving in the army. In the commoner's families, the placement of the said male would be decided depending on the man's abilities and strengths. But in the samurai families, it was different. All males older than sixteen had to serve the army and the emperor. All single males would be sent to the battlefield while all married ones would be placed in a superior position. It didn't matter if the samurai was from a low rank family or from a noble one, if he wasn't married, he would be sent to the battlefield and, most times, to the front lines. That's what they called the empirical duty.

So it was important, extremely important, to Shisui that Itachi got married as fast as possible so he could keep himself out of the front lines. Shisui was the next Head of the Uchiha clan and General of the Army, he  _needed_  Itachi at his side to be able to do a decent job and make his father proud. He  _needed_  Itachi as his counsellor and one of his Captains. He couldn't allow the younger Uchiha to be sent away just because he was being stubborn.

Leaving his room in a flash, Shisui walked fast and silently through the dark corridors of the palace and easily arrived at the training grounds. He stopped at the door, looking at Itachi training, mesmerized by the younger's powerful movements and perfect technique. Itachi's muscles contracted under the porcelain skin and his limbs were the most agile Shisui had ever seen. He swung his katana with beauty and fatal elegance that no other samurai had. Watching Itachi training was like watching the most skilled geisha performing her dance. It was so beautiful and emotional that it couldn't be interrupted. People got into a trance while watching him, his power and force were so great that it could scare the most experienced soldiers while dazzling them at the same time. Itachi was a god sent to earth to play with mere humans. Shisui was certain of it.

"Are you going to keep staring in the dark or are you going to tell me what brings you here so late?" his voice was hoarse from the physical strain and it had a deep and dark tone in it that made Shisui open a grin. Anko would be throwing herself at Itachi's feet if she had heard that voice. "You're interrupting my training."

"You were awfully quiet today" Shisui said, simply, walking to the younger man. "I mean, you were awfully quiet with me, because you were talking a lot with Hinata's guard."

"You have to spend time with your wife-to-be, talking to her and not to me instead" Itachi stated, sliding his katana into its scabbard and fixing his shitagi, which was starting to loosen up during his training. "So yes, I will ignore you every time you're supposed to be talking to her. And yes, I will talk to her guard, so that she can't be talking to him as well and is forced to talk to you instead."

"You do such lovely things for my sake" Shisui exclaimed with a fake delicacy and batted his eyelashes. "I'm touched!"

"You're an idiot!" Itachi turned around and started to walk back to the palace. Chuckling, Shisui followed him.

"I want to talk to you, mind coming to my room?" the older man asked while Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Or we can talk here if you think it's too much trouble to go to my room."

"What do you want?" the younger Uchiha questioned, crossing his arms. "Not plaguing me about not talking to you today, I hope."

"Nah, it's nothing about that" Shisui said, smiling a little before at Itachi's mood. "The thing is, I'm worried, little raven. I'm really worried about you."

"Why?" it came dry and harsh and Shisui was already counting on it. Itachi wasn't one for emotion.

"I don't want you to be sent to the battlefield" Shisui confessed, looking deep into obsidian eyes. "I want you fighting this war with me, at my side, not on the front lines!"

"Am I the only one that noticed that ninja haven't attacked us in more than three years?" Itachi inquired and Shisui tsk-ed. It was true that the ninja had been quiet for a long time, but that didn't mean the war was over. They could attack at any time and being precautious was never a bad thing. "They have no reason to suddenly attack us, so I'm not going to the front lines."

"Can you just stop hoping for the best and get a wife?" Shisui hissed, glaring at his cousin. "Why don't you get one? It would guarantee your place as a Captain!"

"I don't want a woman" Itachi stated, turning around. "And I certainly don't want a position that is granted because of a marriage by interest."

"Almost all marriages are by interest, Itachi! Do you think I love Hinata? I might love her in a few years, but now she's just a fifteen year old that talks about flowers and I'll have to marry her in a few weeks!" Shisui grabbed the other man's arm and turned him around harshly. He received a glare but ignored it and continued. "If you're waiting for love to wed someone, you will die on the front lines, Itachi! You know what the elders say: love isn't something you marry with, is something you build after marriage!"

"Who said anything about love?" the younger samurai hissed, pulling his arm from Shisui's grip. "I don't want a woman, I don't want kids, and I don't want to have the life that my father has! If I have to go to the front lines because of that, I'll go. And if I have to die, I'll die." Shisui's eyes widened hearing Itachi's statement. The older man wasn't expecting that. "Stop thinking that I don't get a woman because they aren't pretty enough or because I'm waiting for something as futile as love. I don't want to get married because I don't want to build a family or to have anyone depending on me. I'm a samurai; my duty is with the Fire Empire and with you. No one else. So I'm sorry, Shisui. I'm sorry that I won't be standing next to you as a Captain in your army in the next big battle or when the war comes to an end. I'm sorry I won't be able to celebrate the end of it with you, because I'll probably be lying dead and unknown on the battlefield. I'm really sorry that I'm not following your desires for the first time in my life."

"Itachi..." Shisui was left without words. He wasn't expecting that from his cousin, he wasn't expecting Itachi to think like that. What was wrong with having a family? What was wrong with having a wife to come home to at the end of the day? Why was Itachi suddenly so cold and heartbreaking? What had happened to the kid who wanted to be Captain and end the war? What happened for Itachi to change his line of thought so much? Who was this cold and empty person that was standing in front of him?

Without another word, Itachi turned around and left the dim hallway. Shisui just stood there, looking at an infinite point, lost in thoughts and questions, wondering when had Itachi changed his mind about his future and why didn't he, the closest person to Itachi, notice that.

**xxx**

For the next three days, Shisui felt like an empty shell. Hearing Itachi saying that he preferred to die than to marry someone and become a Captain of the army was so harsh on Shisui's soul that the older Uchiha was actually sick the very next day. He didn't sleep the entire night and, when Itachi walked into his room at dawn (like he did every day since he was eight), Shisui was actually feverish. Itachi called a doctor, who told Shisui he should take the day off and rest, so Itachi made sure the older Uchiha would follow the instructions.

Shisui spend the day in his room reading, drinking tea, and looking at the naked trees outside his window. He didn't speak more than necessary with Itachi and Itachi didn't try to talk to him either. The mood between them was tense and Shisui could feel Itachi's cold and emptiness spreading to him. He felt like they were almost strangers on that day. And the next one wasn't much better. Shisui hated that day. Itachi was there, but it was almost like he wasn't. Shisui looked at him, but he wouldn't look back. It was almost like they were in different worlds; looking at each other through a mirror and Itachi's was so foggy he couldn't see anything in it. Shisui was starting to get desperate and, on the third day, he lost his mind.

When his hands closed around Itachi's haori and he slammed the younger male against a wall in his bedroom, Itachi made no move. Deep inside, Shisui knew Itachi would never defend himself against something like that. Not when the attacker was Shisui. The older Uchiha pressed an arm to Itachi's collarbone while the other allowed his fist to punch the wall beside his cousin's head. Shisui was mad, furious with rage boiling in his veins; he didn't understand Itachi's reasons, he didn't understand why would the kid had changed his mind, why in the bleeding hell would he choose a path that meant certain death?

"Ask for anything" Shisui's voice came low and weak, clenched teeth revealing the despair on the Uchiha's movements. "Anything that you want, I'll give it to you. Just..." he hesitated, breathing in deeply and closing his eyes for a second before staring into Itachi's obsidian irises again. "Just don't kill yourself like that. I can't be the General of the Army if you're going to die on duty. I can't win this war if you're not here winning it with me! So ask for any fucking thing that you possibly want and just marry anyone and become a Captain in my army!"

"You can't buy me like that, Shisui" Itachi sounded calm and collected, like he was talking about tea and not being forced against a wall by the future emperor. "I'm not trying to get anything with this. I don't want anything that you can offer me."

"There must be something, Itachi, anything!" the older samurai was starting to feel so lost he wasn't sure if he was still breathing properly. "All men have something they would trade their soul for, you can't be an exception!"

"I am" Itachi declared, the coldness back to his eyes and his arms forced Shisui's body away from him. "I'm sorry, Shisui, there isn't anything you can possibly give me that would make me marry a woman just to avoid my empirical duty." And with that, Itachi returned to his daily routine.

Three more days passed until Shisui decided that he wouldn't settle for that answer. He would do anything that he could to keep Itachi in the palace and away from the front lines. And he really meant  _anything_.

**xxx**

Shisui met Anko in a small restaurant, a few days later, at sunset. He had been trying to find a way to get around the law and allow Itachi to escape the empirical duty, but it was impossible. Then, he decided to try another thing and, for that, he needed Anko's help. The older woman was wearing her usual male clothes when she walked into the small restaurant and sat at a corner table, in front of her long time friend. Her Teahouse was working smoothly and Anko left one of the older geisha in charge for the night while she went out to meet her friend. Shisui's message sounded too urgent and Anko knew he wouldn't have sent a crow if he wasn't in a real need. She was prepared for anything that Shisui might throw at her, but she was almost certain the reason could only be one of two: either Shisui was having a panic attack because he was going to wed - and consequently be forced to have sex with - a fifteen year old girl in a couple of weeks or...

"I need you to help me fake a marriage for Itachi!" Shisui declared and Anko sighed.

Or it was something related to Itachi.

"Fake a marriage? Don't you think that's too dramatic?" Anko asked, confused before Shisui's harsh and slightly paranoid behaviour. "Besides how do you plan on doing that? Drugging him?"

"I don't know, Anko!" the man hissed, closing his eyes for a second before facing his friend. "Maybe going to a remote town in the Fire Empire, take one of your girls and get married using Itachi's name?"

"You're the future Emperor's consort, Shisui, everyone knows your face, you can't pretend to be Itachi to marry some girl so that Itachi doesn't have to go to the front lines." the woman tried to call him with reason. Shisui was losing his mind. "You can't fake a marriage."

"Then I have to force him to marry even if he doesn't want to at all!" Shisui stated, punching the table and trying to calm down his breathing, the sake bottle trembled slightly due to the impact. "I refuse to lose Itachi over something like this, Anko." he muttered, his voice losing strength with each word that came from his mouth. His despair and need were evident. "I think I could understand if he would tell me he doesn't want to marry a random girl because he's in love with someone he can't marry to, like... an older and already married woman. I would understand if he said he wanted to serve the empire since he was a little boy, but he wanted to be Captain. I just don't get it..."

"Would you really understand if one of those were his reasons?" Anko inquired, sipping her sake. The older woman had seen a lot in her life. Geisha ruining their future because they fell in love with the wrong man, men ripping their families apart because they got caught in a geisha's allure. Watching lives being torn apart was common in her geisha life and Anko knew oh so well how hard it was to love. "Would you really accept Itachi's reasons if he was in love with a girl he couldn't marry?"

"I wouldn't like it, but at least I would know he had a good reason for doing it" the Uchiha said, finishing his sake and sighing. His dark eyes met Anko's hazel ones and he tsk-ed. Anko bit her lower lip and took a big breath.

"Follow me" she ordered and stood up, walking out of the restaurant. Shisui raised an eyebrow but put a few coins on top of the table and stepped outside as well, walking aside his friend. Anko's expression was serious and Shisui felt curious. "I've known this for the past few weeks. I didn't tell you because I was trying to get more information, but... lets just say it isn't easy."

"What are you talking about?" Shisui questioned, his eyes widening when he realized Anko was heading to the dense forest that existed right outside the village's limits. "Damn it, woman, where are we going?"

"This is a very dense forest and, during the night, it actually becomes dangerous because of the wild animals and evil spirits. No one would enter this forest at night without a very good reason" she told Shisui and signalled the man to make the least noise possible. "About five weeks ago, I saw Itachi entering the forest after sunset. I thought that something might be wrong, so I followed him."

"What would Itachi be doing in a forest after sunset?" Shisui asked, intrigued, watching Anko circulating huge trees and cutting some branches. After a few minutes of walking in deep darkness and listening to nasty growls, Anko stopped near a few bushes.

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid" Anko's voice was like a plea and Shisui, confused, could only nod. She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment before pushing the brush a little aside and revealing a magnificent waterfall right ahead of them. "The Nakano waterfall is unknown to almost all people in the village. Because it's right in the heart of the forest most of them fear, no one comes here. However, this is a very beautiful place I discovered when I was younger and adventurous."

"It is beautiful, indeed" Shisui muttered, mesmerized by the beauty of the waterfall, the crystal clear water and the reflections of the moonlight across the clearing. That place was probably more marvellous than the palace gardens.

"I saw Itachi walking inside the forest and I followed him here" Anko sat on a rock, making sure they could see the waterfall, but kept hidden in the bushes. "I noticed that he does his every two or three days, but, every time the moon changes a phase, something else happens."

"What  _else_  happens?" Shisui questioned, but Anko didn't answer him. She only pointed to the waterfall and, when Shisui sat on the rock next to her, he saw Itachi near the river shore, taking his clothes off.

It wasn't uncommon for a samurai to bath in a river, so, apart from the hidden localization and the night time, there was technically nothing wrong with Itachi bathing here. Shisui was confused, but he was sure Anko didn't bring him here just to look at Itachi's body. Not that the perverted woman wasn't one for doing that, but the worried tone in her voice made Shisui believe he wasn't there just to see Itachi's body.

The younger samurai undressed, letting the textile slid over his porcelain skin and, taking his hair tie off, he entered the cold water of the river. Itachi swam for long minutes; his body didn't seem to mind being exposed to the cold and freezing water. That felt almost like a ritual, like Itachi was purifying his body in that river for some reason. With his eyes closed, he looked like he could be praying. Shisui felt even more confused. Anko said Itachi did that every two or three nights? Where was he when Itachi was at the waterfall? Having dinner? Bathing? How come he never noticed Itachi wasn't in the palace during all those times?

Shisui frowned. He felt bad about that. He didn't know his little cousin like he thought. Hell, he didn't know his little cousin at all. The Itachi he knew wanted to be Captain and to have a family. The Itachi he knew didn't go for night swims in an icy river in the middle of the night. The Itachi he knew was clearly not real. And his biggest doubt now was: he didn't know Itachi because he wasn't paying attention or because Itachi was keeping it from him?

"It's here" Shisui heard Anko whisper and that pulled him back to reality. He focused his vision on Itachi, who was standing in the river, the water at waist height, staring at the opposite side of the waterfall. Itachi's eyes were focused on something and Shisui noticed that something was approaching him underwater. For a second, he tensed and thought of getting up and going there, making sure his cousin wouldn't be attacked by some dangerous creature. But when Anko's hand grabbed his arm, he breathed out and kept his mind controlled. He was there to see something Anko wanted to show to him, not to burst into Itachi's business.

Whatever it was that was approaching Itachi, it was getting closer and closer to him. The younger Uchiha's eyes followed the water movement and, suddenly, he looked at the crystalline surface right in front of him only to see a hand emerging from the water and sliding up his defined stomach and chest, heading for the neck. The person that was there emerged from the water right after, like the hand was pulling the rest of the body out. Shisui felt his heart skip a beat when he realized it was a woman that was standing in front of his cousin.

"What the-" he started in a whisper, his eyes narrowing slightly, trying to see the woman in more detail. He noticed that she was clearly naked, like Itachi was, her long hair, dark with shades of red, falling a little above her waist, tanned skin that look like gold glinted slightly under the intense moonlight. Shisui couldn't see her clearly, but she seemed a very fine example of a fully matured woman with voluptuous curves and firm breasts. If Shisui had to say based on what he could see of her, she looked like one of the best looking women he had ever seen. "Who is she?"

"I have no idea" Anko confessed, shaking her head. "Since the first time that I saw this woman, I've been trying desperately to find out who is she, but... no one knows. It's like she doesn't exist."

"How is that possible?" Shisui inquired, watching his cousin roaming his hands freely on the woman's back, a soft smirk was on his face. "You have a vast net of information, how is it possible that you can't find out who she is?"

"Because she's probably not from the lands of the samurai, Shisui" Anko told him and his eyes widened again, ignoring the kiss Itachi and the woman were sharing. "The Fire Empire is enormous and, theoretically, is entirely ruled by the emperor. But you know there are some parts of the Empire that don't obey the Emperor or the samurai laws. She might be someone from one of those parts."

"If she's from the Fire Empire, she's eligible to wed Itachi! It doesn't matter that she's from a village or a city that don't belong to the samurai, but..." he hesitated for a moment, taking a big breath and ignoring the moan that came from the river. His stomach was jumping and his mind was racing too fast. He needed to calm down and think decently about what he just found out. "If she's from the Fire Empire, they can get married. Please, Anko, find out who the hell she is!"

"You're not a little affected by the fact that your cousin is hiding from everyone, naked in a freezing river, with a mysterious woman, about to have sex, are you?" Anko interrogated, looking at Shisui like he was some sort of weird creature. "As long as that woman can make him stay out of the front lines, you don't even care what happens, do you?"

"Itachi is nineteen, Anko, and I'm not going to pretend that he's still a kid. It bothers me that he's naked in there with a woman and doing things that he should only do with his wife, but it's not my business to interfere" he stated, getting up in silence and preparing to leave. The moans and gasps coming from the river were starting to affect his line of thought and he needed to process that information with a cold head. "But you're right, as long as he can wed that woman and stay in the palace... I don't really care what he's doing."

"And if she's someone he can't wed?" Anko questioned, knowing exactly how to press the wrong buttons to mess with Shisui's mind. The Uchiha couldn't be thinking straight. She'd hoped that Shisui wouldn't take drastic measures against Itachi's behaviour, but to completely ignore it and only care whether or not his cousin could marry the woman? Was Shisui that blind already? "What if the fact that Itachi doesn't want to get married is because this woman can't marry a samurai? Would you be ok with them having sex out of a marriage like this?"

"Samurai can have sex with women before getting married" Shisui recalled the code and Anko tsk-ed.

"With a single mistress that had all her background investigated by older samurai and with the consent of the samurai counsel! Not a complete stranger no one had ever heard of!"

"What are you trying to say?" he hissed, glaring at his friend.

"What I'm trying to say is that you're closing your eyes to the fact that Itachi is breaking the samurai code by having sex with a random woman he doesn't plan on wedding!" Anko harshly pointed out, hissing. "You want him married so bad that you don't even care if he would marry a prostitute! You can't close your eyes like that and you can't just let him break the rules as he pleases!"

"Find out who the woman is and I'll talk to Itachi about it" Shisui ordered, turning around.

"And if she isn't from the Fire Empire?" Shisui stopped on his feet and closed his eyes. So that was the real motive of Anko's questions. "What if she's a foreigner?"

"Then we'll have to make her one of us, won't we?" he growled, walking away. "I have the chance of saving Itachi from the front lines, Anko. You can bet your soul I'll do anything I can possibly imagine to make sure I get that chance to happen!"

**xxx**

Shisui arrived at the palace and locked himself in his room. He told his father that he was tired and sleepy and that he wanted to rest early. He opened the balcony window and stared at the moon, feeling the soft wind blow on his short hair. His brain was overheated and fuzzy, melting slowly with all the questions and doubts that kept popping up like black magic spells. Itachi had a woman, so why didn't he tell Shisui that? What was wrong with their relationship that Itachi felt the need to hide it completely? Was that woman the reason Itachi didn't want to marry anyone else? Was she someone Itachi couldn't marry? Was she even someone from the Fire Empire?

All those questions, and more, kept hammering themselves inside Shisui's mind and he couldn't find answers to any of them. Leaving the balcony doors open, the samurai fell on his bed, facing the ceiling and closing his eyes for a moment. He didn't know what to do. Anko was right; he was closing his eyes before Itachi's behaviour just because he wanted his little cousin married as soon as possible. But what he had seen, and heard, at that waterfall wasn't something a samurai should be doing. The code was strict, samurai couldn't enrol in sexual acts with a woman that wasn't their wife or a mistress that had her background previously checked and approved by the samurai council. The fact that Itachi was, indeed, having sex with a woman no one knew about was bad enough as it was. If the woman was a foreigner... Shisui didn't even want to know.

The future head of the Uchiha clan turned to his side and sighed. He knew he had to apologize to Anko the next day; the same way he knew he had to beg for the woman to understand his point. If the situation was any other, Shisui would be really mad at his cousin for breaking the code. But faced with the hurtful reality that he might be losing Itachi anytime soon... Shisui found himself unable to be rational.

He must have fallen asleep somewhere during his mental rant about that mysterious woman, because he woke up quietly to the feeling of someone covering him with his sheets and muttering him good night while long and silky hair hanks caressed his cheek and neck. Shisui opened his eyes slowly, instinctively smiling at the touch that he knew belonged to his cousin, and reached his hand to grab at Itachi's wrist. The younger samurai stopped from leaving and knelt near Shisui's bed.

"I had a dream in which you were married" the oldest muttered, his grip on Itachi's wrist becoming no more than a caress. "Your wife was beautiful, with a dazzling smile and a stunning figure. You had a little kid and you were so happy with them. A gorgeous smile on your face and pride in your eyes every time your kid did something great."

"Shisui..."

"I know that you're going to say that you don't want that for yourself but..." he breathed, his hand holding Itachi's softly. "But I don't believe you want to die either. Or that you think your duty to the empire is to go to the front lines."

"We had this conversation already" the younger male reminded him, remaining calm and controlled as always.

"I know. I just want to say that I know there's something you want badly and that you think you can't have it for whatever reason you might have" Shisui stated, smiling and closing his eyes again, preparing to return to sleep. "But I will find out what that is, little raven. I'll find out and I'll make sure you stay here and live a long and happy life."

Itachi didn't answer his cousin, he just waited for Shisui to release his hand and got up, preparing to leave the room. Shisui heard the younger male walking away and a pressure on his chest made him bite his lip. Itachi was almost out the door when the older samurai decided to speak again.

"Oh, did I mention?" he whispered, no louder than a confession, feeling his heart beat faster and his chest start to hurt. "Your lovely wife had the most perfect red hair I had ever seen."

After hearing that, and giving no answer whatsoever, Itachi left, slamming the door.

**xxx**

A few weeks passed and autumn fell over the Fire Empire. Shisui apologised to Anko, who was still unsure about his posture before his cousin's behaviour. Neither of them found a thing about the redhead woman and Itachi stopped going to the waterfall. He kept going missing for a couple of hours every time the moon phase change, but Shisui couldn't follow him or figure out where he went. Itachi was too good for his own good and, hiding his presence and disappearing suddenly every time he knew he was being followed, he kept his meetings with the redhead a secret. Shisui became frustrated. Other than slamming Shisui's room's door shut, Itachi didn't have any other reaction to the implied meaning of Shisui's words. He kept doing his routine, like the fact that Shisui knew about the redhead was irrelevant.

Not even a word Itachi never said a word on the subject. Not even once did he show any kind of emotion or reaction to Shisui's indirect attacks. Not even for a moment did his cold and uncaring mask fall from its place. And Shisui hated it more than anything.

"We're growing apart day by day" he confessed to Anko, one night over sake and dangos. "He doesn't talk to me, he doesn't look at me directly, and he's acting like a servant before his lord and not like my cousin!"

"You indirectly told him that you found out about the woman he's so desperately trying to hide, how do you think he would react?" Anko asked, sipping her drink and sighing afterwards. Shisui hissed and cursed before drinking all his sake in a shot, refilling his glass with more right after. He was mad and disappointed with all that mess with Itachi and that mysterious woman. He just wanted his cousin to get married and stay alive! Was that too much to ask? Wasn't he allowed to have Itachi by his side just because the younger male was being stubborn and not telling Shisui about his reasons? Was his fate so dark that he would lose the person he cared about most in life? "You're going to hurt you brain, stop thinking so hard, it won't change anything."

"Maybe if I talk to Itachi and ask him directly about the woman..." Shisui suggested but Anko sighed and shook her head. "Not really a good idea, I know, but I don't have anything else."

"What about asking your father to ask the emperor to order Itachi to marry Hanabi-hime?" the geisha questioned and Shisui raised an eyebrow. "I know that Itachi said no to your mother when she suggested him marry Hanabi-hime, but if it was the emperor himself, Itachi couldn't refuse."

"The emperor wouldn't want his second daughter married to hi-"

"Why the hell not?" Anko burst out, glaring at Shisui. "Itachi is a damn catch and you know it! He's an Uchiha, highest rank family and he's fated to become the most powerful samurai the Fire Empire has ever seen! Hiashi-sama would be an idiot if he wouldn't give his second daughter's hand in marriage to Itachi!"

"Itachi would never forgive me if I did that" the Uchiha muttered, finishing the second bottle of sake. "He wouldn't even talk to me."

"Than make a threat, Shisui! Tell him that if he doesn't tell you everything about the redhead, you'll tell your father what a wonderful idea it is to wed Hanabi-hime to Itachi" Anko declared and Shisui closed his eyes, leaning his forehead on his hands. "I know blackmail isn't the best way, but... Itachi's not being flexible."

"This wouldn't be a problem if he wasn't so stubborn" the samurai hissed, reaching for the third sake bottle. "I'll talk to him and I'll give him a choice: he either tells me about the redhead, or I'll arrange a way for Hiashi-sama to order him to wed Hanabi."

**xxx**

Shisui was drunk when he left Anko and headed to the palace. It was late at night, way past midnight, so no one was on the streets to see him in that state. He entered the palace grounds through a hidden passage where there were no guards (after all, only him and Itachi knew about that) and he walked slowly to his room. He closed the door, dizzy and with his vision blurry, lent his head back on the wooden door and cursed under his breath. He shouldn't have drank that much. His body felt numb and his senses tingled with the effects of the alcohol. His head was spinning and all he could think about was Itachi. He needed to talk to him, force his cousin to tell him about the redhead and find a way to get Itachi to stay in the palace and away from the front lines.

"Fuck!" he muttered and opened his eyes, trying to focus on his bed. He knew it was late, but he needed to talk to Itachi. He needed to tell his cousin about his plan; needed to hear Itachi telling him about the redhead so Shisui could find a way to save his cousin's life. He got away from the door, opened it and, taking a big breath, he left the room.

He didn't go directly to Itachi's room, though. He was too drunk to talk to his cousin immediately, so he wandered through the corridors and winter gardens of the palace before heading to the far north wing, where Itachi's room was situated. When he first moved to the castle, Itachi got a room in the same corridor as Shisui's. However, a few years later, Itachi asked for his room to be moved to the north wing of the palace. The north wing was mostly a temple, so it was silent and quiet during the day and completely deserted during the night. No one would ever go to the temple part after sunset, so the only person in the north wing at night was Itachi. And the younger samurai loved the peace he could get in that part of the palace. He told Shisui that it was the perfect place to meditate and to actually sleep without having to deal with people walking around near his room. Shisui remember laughing at statement, but agreeing with it. He even commented that he should move to the north wing was well, only to receive a glare from his cousin.

So, after all those years, when Shisui entered the north wing (his drunken state was very soft at the moment and he was almost sober again) he expected to have silence surrounding him in every corner of the place. According to the starry sky that we could see through a corridor's window, Shisui placed the time to be around three in the morning. He walked around the temple and entered the dim corridor of Itachi's room, and was surprised to hear soft moans and pants coming from inside his little cousin's room.

Shisui stood petrified, eyes wide open and mouth agape, not believing in what he was hearing. He shook his head and pinched the skin on his arm, but the moans kept coming from inside the room. He wanted to blame his drunken state for that, but he was positive that his drunkenness had nothing to do with the fact that Itachi was having some kind of sexual act inside his room. Shisui felt his heart skip a beat and his lungs compressed so much he thought they were going to collapse. How dare Itachi take that woman to his chambers and perform sexual and illicit acts with her under the royal palace roof?!

Itachi had gone too far. Shisui wouldn't mind closing his eyes before Itachi having sex with a random woman in a waterfall, but doing it in the palace? Where he lived? Where this family lived? No, that Shisui wouldn't allow. And it was thinking about how wrong having sex with a foreigner was that made Shisui silently open his cousin's room door without knocking. Shisui wanted to surprise Itachi and catch him in the act with the redhead so she couldn't escape. So he opened the door and what he saw and heard made his heart stop beating at all.

Itachi was on top of his bed, on his knees, fully naked, his long and silky hair spread loose on his back and falling over his shoulders while he was leaning into the other person's body, pinning his partner's hands to the headboard with one hand while the other was carving his fingers on a pale hip. He was moving harshly, sweat dripping from his defined body while his lips kissed the other person's back and neck. The moans were loud and the pants were faster at each new thrust. The rough and hard sex was clearly being enjoyed by both parts and Shisui was shocked to see how incoherent Itachi's lover was.

And then, Shisui recognise the voice what moaned  _Itachi-sama_  like a lustful sin and his eyes widened even more. The creamy pale skin was covered in red marks from the sex, strong muscles contracting under the candlelight with each new thrust, and the mouth was open and moaning, releasing a loud groan when Itachi's hand left the pale hip to grab the long chocolate coloured hair and pull it back. Shisui felt his knees giving way and he had to support himself against the door frame or he would have fallen. He was expecting the redhead, he was expecting a whore, he was expecting a married woman. What Shisui wasn't expecting was to see the third in line for the throne, Hinata's older cousin and special guard, Hyuuga Neji, being fucked hard and raw by Itachi.

"Ah! Fuck!" Neji's voice was hoarse and failing, proving how long they had probably been at it. "H-harder!"

"Since when are you so demanding?" Itachi's voice sounded low and husky, which forced a shiver down Shisui's spine. Who was that predatory creature? "You used to beg me to stop; now you want it harder? I'll rip you in two if I thrust harder,  _Neji_."

" _Ow_!"

The scene was a complete sin. Neji was on his knees, with his legs spread open and Itachi's thick cock being rammed over and over inside of him. He was moaning loudly and shamelessly, mouth agape while Itachi pulled his hair back strongly and he forced his body against Itachi's, meeting the Uchiha's rhythm and begging for more. Neji's moans became incoherent and loud groans and, in a moment, he was cumming hard while screaming Itachi's name and his body shaking from head to toe. The Uchiha let go of his hands as soon as he was done riding his orgasm and turned him around in bed, forcing Neji's back into the mattress and a leg over his shoulder while he kept fucking the Hyuuga's ass roughly. Neji was still caught within the throes of his orgasm and the feeling of Itachi inside of him, moaning softly with the Uchiha's movements.

Itachi opened in a smirk and slowed his pace down, allowing Neji to start feeling aroused again. A pale hand brushed Itachi's hair away from his face and the Uchiha kissed Neji's hand palm before leaning forward and kissing him softly on the mouth. A soft and delicate kiss that rapidly became heated with passion. Neji moaned again when Itachi took hold of his member and started to stroke it into full hardness once more.

"Oh yes!" Neji breathed, spreading his body to the Uchiha. Itachi grinned and started to thrust slowly, but deeper inside the Hyuuga. In but a moment, Neji was incoherent again.

Feeling all his insides crumble and all his internal organs threatening to fail, Shisui turned around and left. He couldn't see more of that, he had seen enough. He left with his head spinning fast and his stomach performing back flips. He exited the north wing in pure shock and, somewhere in the way back to his room, he fell to his knees and vomited, the hard reality hitting him like a thunder: Itachi was having sex with Neji. Itachi was having sex with another male. Itachi was having same-sex intercourse.

And same-sex intercourse, in the Fire Empire, was a Capital Offence.

 

**\- TBC -**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) It's just crumbled love/ Rose blood on chest / Tear that I shed / Without coming back!


	3. Two

" _Cresce e contamina, Tolhe a luz à vida, Que afinal ensina, quebra, Dobra a dor e entrega amor sincero.(1)"_

* * *

Shisui woke up on the next day feeling like a trash can. His stomach was hurting, his head was hurting and he knew his whole body would complain the moment he tried to get up. It was a nasty rainy day, he could hear the strong rain hitting his chamber's closed windows, and Shisui would give everything to get himself a dose of that crazy erbe tea Anko made that would knock him out for hours. Being able to think was something Shisui didn't want at the moment. Thinking would hurt him even more than remaining in a frozen state. He didn't want to think because he didn't want to remember the night before. He really wanted that to be a bad dream, a fruit of his drunken state, a dark illusion created by an enemy to trick him. Shisui prayed for it to be one of those things but, deep down his heart, he knew what he had seen was the cruelest reality.

Cursing, he sat on his bed. Nausea and dizziness made him cover his mouth with his hand and take a deep breath to control his stomach. He had vomited the night before due to his nervous state; he didn't want to do it again because of his hangover. He considered staying in bed the whole day, but that would mean having Itachi at his side the entire time. And Shisui wasn't sure he could handle being around Itachi without punching the younger's face and yell at him, hating him for the show Shisui had seen the night before. No, being around Itachi was not a good idea. He really needed to get up, take a bath and get the hell away from his chambers before Itachi got there.

Shisui was halfway through his room, about to enter the bathroom when he remembered he was supposed to spend the entire day with Hinata. The wedding was getting closer by the day and everyone was making preparations for it, including forcing the two of them to spend even more time together. Shisui punched a wall near him and cursed loudly. Spending the day with Hinata would be boring, but that would also prevent any interaction with Itachi. The worst part was that, if Itachi was there, playing his role as Shisui's personal guard, Neji would also be there. And no. Watching Itachi and Neji together, talking and exchanging looks was the last thing Shisui needed on that moment.

Maybe his father needed him for the day in any kind of military service? That would be asking too much, Kagami was the first one that wanted Shisui and Hinata to spend time together, he would never allow Shisui to bail on the girl, not even if the Empire was crumbling down. There was no way he would spend the day doing anything other than being together and if Hinata was there, so was Neji and so was Itachi. Cursing for the nth time that morning, Shisui prepared himself for the worse day ever.

He was feeling physically better when he met Hinata in her favourite winter garden, about an hour later. He was able to flee from his room before Itachi arrived and he was able to eat breakfast hidden in the kitchen so that his cousin wouldn't find him. He was avoiding Itachi on purpose. He needed to process properly all the information he had before deciding what to do. He couldn't risk doing or saying something wrong. The situation was as delicate as butterfly's wings and Shisui wanted to make sure the worse wouldn't happen.

Hinata was happy and smiling. She told Shisui something about her flowers and he pretended to be paying attention. It was hard to focus on Hinata's sweet conversation when Neji was glaring at him from a corner of the garden. It was clear that the Hyuuga didn't like him, but Shisui couldn't care less about Neji's mood. His presence alone was more than enough to irritate the older samurai. Shisui was mad that he couldn't look at Neji without remembering what he had seen the night before. He looked at Neji's face and remembered perfectly how his mouth was agape and moaning while his body was shivering and contracting under Itachi's movements. He couldn't look at Neji's hair without the clear image of Itachi pulling those dark hanks, forcing the Hyuuga to tilt his head back, begging for more.

And Shisui hated it.

He hated it so much that he tried his best to keep his back turned to the Hyuuga, so he didn't have to look at him. But the faiths weren't good to him and Itachi joined them a few moments after. Shisui forced himself to listen to Hinata, ignore the two samurai and pretend their conversation wasn't nothing especial. But when he turned around to follow Hinata to the next flower, he saw the caring look his cousin gave Neji, the way Itachi's hand touched Neji's back so softly and, to the rest of the world, innocently. Shisui hated when he saw Itachi leaning a little into Neji's direction to ask him something, to which Neji only nodded and gave the Uchiha a small smile. Shisui hated that he was able to see all that and couldn't do anything about it. His instincts were telling him to yell at them, to hit them, to force Itachi against a wall and order the younger male to tell him about his sin. But there was a very low voice on his brain that told him "everything has consequences" that prevented him to do some stupidity.

The day felt like torture and, as soon as he could, Shisui left Hinata, dismissed Itachi and locked himself again in his room. He didn't want to talk to anyone, not even Anko. He needed to decide what to do, how to approach Itachi without getting him killed. He needed to clear his mind, accept that he was breaking major samurai rules by covering for Itachi. That was probably the true reason why he didn't say anything: He  _was_  covering for Itachi. He didn't want anyone to know about Itachi's crime and he couldn't even bring himself to think about the possibility of Itachi's death because of a Capital Offense. He was choosing Itachi over the samurai code. He was choosing Itachi over his own honour and pride.

And the only remaining question was: Why?

**xxx**

The next day, Shisui was able to avoid Itachi by having several army-related issues to attend. He forced himself to stay the entire day in a room full of old samurai, discussing the defense organization and plotting several way to end the war (or so the elderly liked to say about their crazy fantasies). By the end of the day, Shisui was so exhausted he only wanted a warm bath and a cup of hot tea. He refused dinner for the second night in a row to spend about an hour inside the bathtub, letting his body relax while his thoughts started to run again.

He still hadn't figured out why he was choosing Itachi over the samurai code. He tried to convince himself that it was because Itachi was family, but he knew he wouldn't even think twice in following the code if the man he had saw having same-gender intercourse was anybody else, family or not. Itachi was different because he was Itachi, not because he was a genius, or because he was family, or because he was Shisui's personal guard and closest friend. The future Head of the Uchiha clan knew none of those were the real reason and he wasn't able to point exactly what made Itachi so damn special that he couldn't allow himself to denounce his cousin.

Another thought that couldn't leave Shisui's mind, even if he really wanted it gone, was: Why in the bloody hell was Itachi having sex with a man? Being a samurai, random women automatically fell on his feet. Being a samurai from the highest ranked family made 90% of women look at him and want him. And on top of all that, Itachi was gorgeous! He could get  _any_  woman he wanted! So why did he go for a samurai two years younger, who was none other than the third in line for the Fire Empire's throne. If something happened to Hinata and to Hanabi, Neji would be Emperor. So why were they risking so much by having sex with each other? Why were two high born samurai risking their necks for a few moments of pleasure?

Shisui's head hurt. He couldn't get an answer for any of his questions and the doubts and uncertainty grew stronger by the minute. He only wanted to be able to understand Itachi and all his insanity, to understand his cousin and do something to prevent the younger male to ruin his live.

He got out of his bath, dressed in a warm yukata and grabbed his cup of tea, walking to his window, watching the rain falling slowly. It was dark night already, days were becoming shorter and the light was easily replaced by darkness. Shisui stared at an infinite point outside, not really focusing on anything, just letting his mind worry about his unanswered questions. However, he noticed a small movement in the training camps and his eyes flew to focus on what he had seen. It was night and dark, cold and raining and, even so, Shisui wasn't surprised when he realized it was Itachi who was standing in the rain, training. Not even the bad weather would stop the younger samurai to finish his daily routine. But then, Shisui noticed something else. Standing in the darkness, leant against a door frame, Neji was watching the samurai training. Two days ago, he would have been worrying about nothing; but, at that moment, Shisui felt a pressure in his chest and an acidic taste in his mouth.

Itachi saw Neji and their eyes locked for a second before the Uchiha nodded slightly. Neji was gone right after and a burning agony was left inside Shisui's stomach.  _They are lovers_. That was so obvious that it made Shisui think how in hell did he miss that for so long? Of course, they were discreet, their lives were depending on it, but it was so obvious! The talks, the smirks, the soft smiles, the way they looked at each other, the silent companion between them were strong signals that something was on between those two. Itachi was a reserved person and so was Neji. So being that intimate with one another should have set an alarm. Shisui should have noticed that wasn't an ordinary friendship.

Itachi left the training camps and Shisui bit his lower lip and clenched his fists. He knew exactly what was going to happen and, for some reason he couldn't understand, his body forced him to get out of his room and follow Itachi to the younger's chambers. Itachi was an extraordinary samurai, so his senses were more accurate than common warriors, which made Shisui follow him with all his subtly and making sure he wouldn't make a single noise. Itachi got inside his chambers and Shisui took a minute before walking to the room's door and stand there, listening carefully.

"...stop meeting like this. We're getting sloppy" Itachi said and Shisui heard a low chuckle in response.

"We're not getting sloppy, you are the one worrying too much," Neji's voice said calmly and Shisui felt fury starting to boil in his veins. "No one comes here, that's why you got this room. And we're too subtle for anyone to notice us."

"You're being too careless."

"No, my dear. You're the one being careless. Your father is worried sick because you don't want to get married!" Neji's voice declared, Itachi tsk-ed. "Just get a freaking woman already! Find a dumb one, so she doesn't realize you fuck men in the free time, and stay in the palace as an Army Captain!"

"I don't see you getting married," the raven snorted.

"I can marry Hanabi if there's a threat of a battle. Do you have a woman to marry in less than twenty-four hours if a battle comes suddenly?"

"Who said I'm interested in doing that?"

"Why aren't you?" there was a moment of silence and then Neji spoke again. "Oh... it's because of the redhead?"

"It has nothing to do with the redhead!"

"Of course it does! You can't be together if you're a Captain in the Army. Damn! You can't be together if you're a samurai serving the Emperor!"

"Enough, Neji!" Itachi's voice was cold and sharp. "I told you Kurama has nothing to do with my decisions, so stop playing guess."

"Fine!" was the last thing Shisui heard before a soft moan filled the room.

With his heart beating fast and his nerves trembling with fury, Shisui left the north wing of the palace and walked to the watch-tower, were the samurai kept the birds they used for correspondence. Neji knew about the redhead and it was clear now that the redhead was someone the Empire laws wouldn't accept. But why? Who was this person? Why did Neji know about it? What was Itachi planning, exactly?

With his head in ebullition, Shisui arrived at the watch-tower and grabbed a piece of paper. He reached his arms out and, in a second, a beautiful, strong crow landed in there. He wrote a single word on the paper, attached it to the crow's leg and let the bird fly into the night. He knew the crow would find Anko in a few minutes and he knew Anko would know exactly what to do with that information. Cursing, he left the tower. Hundreds of questions without answer were still spinning like a whirl on his mind. Fury and agony here possessing his body, all his limbs were shaking with the pressure of his feelings. He wasn't sure if he was hating himself because he didn't know his cousin or if he was hating his cousin because the younger samurai hide everything from him. Shisui was mad and frustrated and he knew he would get much sleep that night. His only positive thought was that Anko could find something with the information he had sent to her.

"Kurama..." Shisui muttered, slamming the door of his room. He was going to solve that stupid riddle. Oh yes, he was.

**xxx**

A week passed before Shisui got the crow back with a message from Anko that only read " _Meet me tonight. It's urgent!_ ". He was anxious the entire day and a bad feeling was constantly making him shiver. He wasn't sure he was ready for what Anko was going to say to him. He spend the entire week oscillating between furious and frustrated. His father had noticed and told him to control himself, but it wasn't easy. He kept avoiding Itachi as much as he could and he had to leave a tea break with Hinata earlier or he would have punched Neji.

Knowing what he knew about Neji and Itachi was only making him more irritated. Especially when the Hyuuga samurai was clearly teasing Itachi in the middle of the dinner, in front of everyone. Shisui grew to hate Neji so much on that week that he was sure he wouldn't be left alone with the Hyuuga or Shisui would murder him. Not that the situation with Itachi was any better, but at least Shisui was sure he wasn't powerful enough to harm his little cousin, in case of losing control.

Besides all that, Shisui was having dreams. Weird dreams that he never remembered more than random shapes and movements, but that were enough to wake him up flushed and trembling with adrenaline, panting fast and sweating, haunting him for the rest of the day. Everyday was like that: he would go to bed, rolling over on the sheet for hours before falling asleep only to wake up from one of those stupid dreams a couple of hours later. He hated it so much. He hated all of it so damn much!

And that bad feeling was only making everything worse.

Shisui arrived at Anko's teahouse a couple of hours before sunset. He walked to the older geisha chambers and entered after knocking once. Anko was sitting in the floor, two bottles of sake were on the tea table in front of her, one of them already empty. Anko was visibly exhausted, her expression was worried and he looked much older than he actually was. Shisui knelt down next to her, afraid his friend might be sick. Anko turned to look at him and sighed, holding his hand.

"Promise me you won't get him killed," she asked and Shisui's heart skipped a beat before the sad and almost desperate tone his friend used. "Promise me you'll remember how much you care for him before you do anything!"

"What happened, Anko?" the Uchiha questioned, his stomach contracting with each word the geisha was saying.

"Just promise me, Shisui!" she declared, her hand clenching hard around his. Shisui saw the fear in Anko's eyes. Anko was a warrior, she fought her entire life for her rights, for her teahouse, for a decent status. She didn't have a family and Shisui knew he and Itachi were the closest thing she had to brothers. She loved them like they were her blood and she would do anything to protect them. So, hearing those pleas from her hurt Shisui more than he thought it might would. And nodding, he promised her.

"I will do everything that you're asking me to, but please..." he whispered to her, black irises meeting hazle ones. "I need to know everything so I can find a way to solve this."

"This can't be solve, Shisui," she breathed, shaking her head. "This is too damn deep to be solved."

"What is too damn deep to be solved?" he interrogated, fear and worry on his voice. He watched as his friend sipped her drink before turning fully to him and hold both his hand with hers. "Anko?"

"You know the Namizake name, right?" she inquired and Shisui's eyes widened. Of course he knew the Namizake name. Their head was the current leader of the samurai's worse and most powerful enemy, it was because of them that the Fire Empire was at war. "I couldn't find much about the redhead, but I got the full name."

"Don't..." Shisui's voice died in his throat.

"Namikaze Kurama. That's the name of the redhead Itachi is having sex with," Anko declared. "That's why Itachi didn't want anyone to know. That's why he hide everything the best he could, that's why he doesn't want, or can, marry that woman, Shisui!"

"No..." the Uchiha gasped, trying to release his hands's from Anko's hold. His lungs were about to collapse, his insides were crumbling and his head was about to explode. "No!"

"The redhead is a  _ninja_!"

**xxx**

Shisui felt his entire body burning with pain. Rage and fury were boiling inside of him and he hated Itachi with all his forces on the moment he stormed out of Anko's Teahouse. Shisui didn't know if Itachi was breaking all those rules and committing all those crimes because he was betraying the Samurai, or if he was being controlled by the ninja, or even if he was just plain stupid and wanted that badly to die. The future emperor used all his self control to stay away from Itachi and not say a word when he found out about Itachi and Neji. He cared for the younger Uchiha way too much to see him dead because of sex. Shisui wanted to calm down before going to his cousin for a calm and sincere talk. But a  _ninja_? No. No, no, bloody hell, no! A ninja was too much for Shisui's self control to handle.

A ninja... a fucking ninja! How, and why, in the world was Itachi having sex with a  _ninja_?! Why was the genius of the Samurai betraying his whole clan and breaking all the rules? Was Itachi's desire to die that big and strong that he had to got himself involved in, not one, but two Capital Offenses? Why couldn't he be a behaved and dedicated Samurai like all the others were? What exactly was wrong with that kid?

The night was still young when the future emperor arrived at the palace. He was so mad no one dared to look him in the eye or to even ask what was wrong. He almost ran to the north wing of the palace and, without a single warning, he burst Itachi's room's door open. The younger samurai looked at him with questioning eyes while drying his hair with a towel. Itachi was naked and wet, clearly just out of the bath, and his undressed state cause no uncomfortness to him. Shisui walked inside, slamming the door close. In three steps he had Itachi's pale neck in between his hands and, for the very first time in his life, Itachi had the real need to defend himself from Shisui.

In more than a decade of being together, there were several times in where Shisui attacked Itachi. Some in a playing way, others with fury or annoyance. But never, not even once, Itachi looked into Shisui's eyes and saw a killing intent. Shisui never wanted to hurt him, not even during a more intense training or spar. But on that day, Shisui was burning in madness. Lost, hateful, infuriating madness that called his most deep and primal instincts and made him try to kill his little cousin with his bare hands.

Itachi glared at him like he was seeing a ghost. Shisui was panting hard and cursing, making his cousin doubt about his mental sanity. He raised his head, meeting Itachi's eyes with his own and a disgusted expression ripped his face. For Itachi, being slashed in two by a burning blade wouldn't hurt that much.

"You couldn't just be fucking men, could you?" Shisui's voice sounded hoarse and dry, too harsh for his usual cheerful self. His body was shaking with fury, his palms were clenched, nails carving on the calloused skin. He was so mad, so incredibly mad. And yet... he couldn't bring himself to take his katana off it's saya and punish Itachi for his crimes. "Like that isn't bad enough, you seriously had to be fucking a bloody ninja?! Are you that desperate to die?"

Shisui watched as Itachi's eyes narrowed for a second before his cold and unemotional mask was back on it's place. And he hated it. Shisui hated it so much. How was Itachi even able to hear that he was discovered, that he could be dead in a few days if Shisui decided to talk and, still, he was apparently as serene as he would be on a boring and ordinary council reunion. Why wasn't he reacting? Why was he staying still, looking at Shisui, without saying a freaking word?! Why was he-

"So you finally found out about Kurama," Itachi said in a calm and low voice. Shisui glared at him, not believing on what he just had heard.

"Finally?" the older man spat, taking a step forward. "What do you mean by 'finally', Itachi? You should be on your knees, begging for me not to tell my father about this!"

"If you were to tell your father about Kurama and I, you would have done it already instead of coming here to try to kill me with bare hands." The younger Uchiha reached his arm to his bed and grabbed an old pair of dark hakama, starting to dress them. "And yes, finally. Because, honestly, I thought you would find about this months ago."

"How long have you been doing this?" Shisui was surprised. He expected Itachi to argue or to fight back, to be afraid or to freak out. He didn't expect Itachi to be calm. "How long have you been having sex with that creature?"

"How long have the ninja stopped attacking us?"

Shisui's heart skipped a beat. Was Itachi really implying what he thought he was implying? He couldn't be selling his body in exchange for peace, could he? Shisui's eyes met Itachi's and he felt like his insides were crumbling apart. A drop of cold sweat rolled down his neck and he had to clench his fists hard to prevent the trembling of his hands. It all felt like a nasty dream he just couldn't awake from.

"Why?" the older male interrogated, his heart punching his rib cage again and again, a whirl of insane thoughts messing up his mind. "Why are you doing this?!"

Despair was visible on Shisui's voice. He was lost between contempt and astonishment, not able to stop his emotions from exploding in raw doubt and almost panicking. He watched Itachi tying his hakama, securing the textile on his narrow hips, before passing a hand through long, dark hair and sighing. Why was he looking so damn controlled while Shisui was losing it so damn badly?

"Because I was tired of pointless battles. Of losing friends in a war we couldn't win," Itachi muttered, closing his eyes for a moment. He faced Shisui and the older Uchiha felt all the pain and the sorrow that Itachi carried by being a samurai that was forced to grow too fast. "For years there were battles. For years there were massive deaths and despair. And it only took a ninja and a samurai to agree on peace to stop it."

The war between ninja and samurai started hundreds of years ago. No one really knew why or how it started. Ninja fought samurai and samurai fought ninja. They were enemy clans fighting for a land that was marked for decades already, fighting for perfect ideals, fighting for costumes and a split society that couldn't be united anymore.

"You can't possibly believe the ninja stop attacking us because of that Kurama," Shisui hissed, denying what his cousin was telling him. "No ninja is that good or has that much influence to do it. They're a bunch of savages!"

"We are the savages, Shisui! We!" Itachi stated, hitting his bare chest with his palm, his cold mask shattering in pieces, anger flash behind his dark irises. "We think so highly of ourselves because we have a palace and an Emperor, but we're no better than wild animals compared to them!"

"What the fuck are you saying?" Shisui growled, stepping front and pushing Itachi's shoulder like a warning. "How come they're better than us?"

"Want a simple example?" Itachi questioned, his eyes fixed on Shisui's, their faces too close to each others. "The ninja don't imprison someone just because that person changed a word with someone from another clan. The ninja don't punish or shame someone just because that someone doesn't want an arranged marriage with a complete stranger." He breathed harshly before continuing, a heavy tone on his voice. "The ninja don't kill someone just because that someone fell in love with a person of the same gender."

"Y-You..." Shisui's eyes widened and he stepped back, like he was seeing a ghost. "Is that why you're doing all this?! Because you fell for Neji and-"

"Who the fuck fell for Neji? When did I say that?!" Itachi hissed, starting to lose his always present composure. Shisui felt his brain being pierced over and over again. "I have an agreement with a ninja, because that's the best for the samurai, I never said anything about sex or love!"

"But you-"

"I have sex with Neji because it's good and hot and mind blowing. And I have sex with Kurama because it's even better!" the younger male declared, making his cousin stare at him in pure horror. Who was that creature? "The people I have sex with has nothing to do with why I have a deal with a ninja. The deal exists because I'm sick and tired of watching your father sending kids and elders to battles we can not win! The sex exists because I adore it and no bloody mistress or prostitute can make me feel as good as Neji or Kurama can."

"I want you to stop it!" Shisui ordered with a yell, straightening his posture and glaring at Itachi. He pushed all his doubts and insecurities to the deep of his soul and decided to stood up. He couldn't allow Itachi to do that and he couldn't allow him to become a nasty, perverted, low class skank. Itachi was his little cousin, a behaved, high born samurai. Not a ruthless commoner that followed no rules and delighted himself with any warm body he could found. Itachi was an honoured man, not a traitor who kept a deal with a ninja. "Stop seeing the ninja, stop having sex with Neji, stop rebelling against the code and please...  _please_  come back to normal!"

"And what exactly do you define as normal, Shisui?" Itachi asked, his voice falling to a low and tired level. What was he expecting? Shisui being all supportive and happy with his actions? What an idiot. "Letting your father indirectly murder hundreds of people per year because of ridiculous battles the ninja don't want to fight? Pretending to be all pure and correct and marry a woman I don't even feel attracted to just because a samurai should get married and produce an heir? Is that  _normal_?!"

"That's how we were raised to be, Itachi! All of us! That's what the code says!" Shisui stated, grabbing his hair in frustration. "I don't want you dead because of this. I  _can't_  have you dead, I just can't! So, stop this! Spare your own life, for fuck's sake!"

"I prefer to die than to become a puppet of the council" Itachi spat, furious. "I prefer to let them kill me than to kneel down to their feet and live oppressed for the rest of my life. I am a samurai, Shisui, and I'm proud of being one! But I'm not letting inocentes die because I can't have a deal with a ninja. And I won't make a woman's life miserable because the code forced me to marry her when my entire body and soul aches for someone else."

"What do you want to stop this insanity?" Shisui inquired in a quiet voice and Itachi's eyes narrowed. Shisui was feeling so desperate, so confused and lost that buying Itachi's craziness was the only thing that made sense on his mind. That or to send Itachi to exile. And exile was not an option. "Tell me what do you want to stop committing Capital Offenses one after another!"

"Are you seriously asking me that?!" Itachi growled, anger boiling in his veins. Was Shisui really trying to buy him?

"I am! I can't think of any other way to make you stop trying to get yourself killed, so, yes! I'm doing this!" the older Uchiha yelled, punching the wall at his side. "Tell me what you want! I'll give it to you! Do you want to be the next head of the family? Or the next General of the army? I'll make it happen! I can give you anything that you want and-"

Shisui's voice failed when his body was harshly slammed against the wall, letting a painful grown escape his throat. Itachi hands were clenched around the collar of his yukata, fury and rage spreading through the younger's face like a plague. His body was tensed with anger, his eyes were darker than Shisui had ever seen and, for a moment, a very small and brief moment, Shisui realized the huge gap between their powers and how defenceless he was against his little cousin.

His body trembled with the proximity, he felt his entire system overflowing with despair and frustration, he knew he was losing Itachi at each second that passed and he couldn't just stand there and do nothing. So he tried anything, he tried to reasoning with him, he tried to force him, he tried to buy him. And it all failed. He failed.  _He_  was losing Itachi.

"Stop doing this to me!" Itachi almost begged in anger, stepping back and turning around. "I can't have you doing this to me, Shisui. So stop it."

"I can't. I won't!" Shisui muttered, his back still against the cold wall, stomach contracting in agony. If he was someone else, he would probably be crying. "Honestly, I don't fucking care if you're fucking every walking creature on earth or if you're all lovey dovey with all ninja in the country. I don't care, as long as you're here, at my side, a loyal friend to me like you always were," he took a breath, closing his eyes. "But everyone else does and if someone finds out, then you're dead. And I'm selfish enough to not want you dead! So, I have to do this to you! I have to find a way to make you stop, even if I have to use the most despicable and disgusting ways to do it!"

"Shisui..."

"I don't want you gone! I don't want you dead!" the future general exclaimed, opening his eyes to focus on Itachi's figure. "So tell me what you want... please."

"You said you would give me anything that I asked for" the younger Uchiha's voice was hoarse and filled with sorrow when he stared directly into his cousin's eyes. It was all too much for him to take. It was all too much for him to handle. It was all too much to keep it a secret. It was just all too much. "Then I want you!"

Shisui's eyes widened and his stomach clenched suddenly. What was-

"I want you at my side for the rest of my life, I want you every night on my bed, I want to wake up to you every day and to come home to you every sunset. I want to be able to love you without putting your head at risk for it, I want to be able to be married with you, to have a family with you!" Itachi declared, like he was reciting all the emotion locked in his soul, handing over his heart to a feast of crows. "Give me that, Shisui! That's what I want for stop meeting Kurama or having sex with Neji! For not being suicidal! Can you give me that?!"

Shisui felt a thunder ripping through his heart. He was completely astonished, petrified by a confession he was certainly not expecting to get. His mouth was open agape, his arms were numb, legs trembling and his stomach was holding a intern war against itself. He blinked and shook his head slightly, not sure if he should take that as an hallucination or if he should turn around and vomit due the enormous nervousness that was taking control of him.

"Why am I even waiting an answer?" Itachi mumbled, biting his tongue and inhaling deeply through his nose, his dark piercing eyes never leaving Shisui's blank ones. "You can't give me what I want."

Itachi stormed out of the room, a light haori hanging on his hand when he exited. Shisui was left inside, paralyzed on his previous position, staring into the point where Itachi's eyes were just a second before. His mind was frozen, refusing to process what he just had heard, refusing to let his body feel the impact of Itachi's statement. He tried to take a deep breath, but his lungs weren't working decently, he couldn't swallow the painful lump on his throat, he couldn't move from his place. His body was on damage control, preparing the for the painful break down his mind was about to suffer.

"Itachi is in love with me..." he muttered. And all hell broke loose.

**xxx**

Shisui walked to his room with a thunderstorm of feelings and emotions boiling on his mind and heart. He kept everything inside until he entered his chambers and locked the double doors. After that, everything exploded and he destroyed his entire room. When he got out, more than an hour later, there were only wreckage behind him. He apologize to the servants that were standing outside his room and walked away. A couple of important samurai tried to talk to him, but Shisui walked past them in silence and exited the palace. He needed a place to rest without being questioned, he needed peace so he could think and he needed a friendly shoulder for him to drown his sorrow.

Anko hugged him strongly when Shisui entered her private room on the teahouse. The broken expression on his face scared the geisha so much she was afraid Shisui was no longer himself. He was crushed inside, his soul shattered into a million pieces, his emotions clashing against one another with no mercy at all. Anko didn't ask a single question, she just stood there, hugging him, holding him, trying desperately to heal his open wounds. And Shisui stayed in her arms, his hands clenching into her kimono, his face buried on her shoulder, liquid salt wetting the woman's silky skin.

He left in the dawn, without saying a word, his wounds still bleeding.

**xxx**

December came fast and cold, painted everything in white and froze the rivers of the Fire Empire. Shisui was almost a ghost of his usual self. The loud samurai was now quiet, the eccentric personality was suddenly controlled and distante. He wasn't smiling anymore, he wasn't telling jokes anymore, he was not Uchiha Shisui anymore. The only moments someone could see some emotion on Shisui's face was when Itachi was around. Sadness, sorrow and hurt were clear as water on the older samurai's eyes. They addressed each other cordially, Itachi kept his routine like always and they discussed the matters of the empire every time it was necessary. But Itachi felt like a stranger to Shisui, like a person he never had a deep conversation with, some random servant that his father ordered to be with him instead of the kid he had known and trust his entire life. And every time Shisui tried to say something else, anything else, Itachi wasn't there anymore. He would never stay longer than necessary, would never talk more than required.

A week before Shisui's weeding, the entire palace became chaotic. People running up and down the entire day, making sure everything was perfect for the big day. Shisui was forced to leave work for the entire week, so he could only focus on the details of the wedding he couldn't care less. So, being on forced "vacation" Shisui spend most of his time outside the palace, walking in the snow, pretending to be watching the winter birds, ignoring the world. He knew Itachi would always be around, hidden in the shadows. And he prayed in silence for Itachi to appear, if only for a minute, so they could talk.

But Itachi never did.

In a particularly cold night, three days before the wedding, Shisui couldn't sleep, so he left the palace for a walk. He couldn't feel Itachi's presence around him, but in the middle of the night, he doubted his cousin would follow him. Shisui walked in the snow for long minutes, silence and darkness surrounding him, allowing his mind to drift into deep roads. He only realised the snow was gone when a big bonfire warmed his face and hands and he stopped, looking at the red and green fire. It was definitely not a normal fire and Shisui finally understood that he was no longer in the forest near the palace.

"For the future General of the Samurai Army, you're pretty distracted," a low and hoarse voice sounded in the air and Shisui immediately reached for his katana, preparing for a possible attack. "You can relax, samurai, if I was here to harm you, you would be dead and cold by now."

"What do you want?!" Shisui hissed, narrowing his eyes at the shadow that rose from the floor, behind the bonfire. "Who are you?"

"We were never formally introduced, but I know Itachi told you about me" the shadow walked to Shisui's direction, stopping a few meters aways, close enough for Shisui too see the entire body, but far enough for an attack. "I'm Namikaze Kurama, 27th Head of the Ninja Clan."

Shisui's eyes widened with surprise. First because Itachi didn't mention that Kurama was the new Head of the Ninja Clan and second because... Shisui was sure Kurama was a woman; he saw a woman on the river, he was absolutely sure of it. So why was a man, a fully developed man, standing in front of him? Kurama's blood-red hair was pulled up in a loose ponytail and his clothes were the usual ninja all black outfit, with the exception of a white, sleeveless haori that he was wearing. The man had a defined jaw and penetrating eyes, as well as large shoulders and a clearly fit body. Aside from the hair, there was definitely not a trace of the gorgeous woman Shisui had seen in the waterfall, weeks before.

"You were suppose to be a woman!" Shisui declared, wary with the person in front of him and clearly discomfortable about the entire situation. "The Kurama I saw at the waterfall was definitely a woman! What kind of trick is this?!"

"Is my gender really that important?" Kurama questioned, crossing his arms. "When you saw me with Itachi at the waterfall, I knew you were there. I can change sex at free will, so I showed up as a female every time you or the geisha were watching. I didn't want to get Itachi in trouble."

"He was in trouble from the moment he met you!" the samurai shouted, furious. That was the person who turn Itachi into someone Shisui didn't know anymore. And Shisui hated that person with all his strength. "You disgraced my cousin!"

"Itachi met me when he was five. So he met me first and you never complained about him being disgraced until you found out about me," the redhead said and Shisui felt his heart skip a beat. That creature knew Itachi for longer and he did? "I never tried to change Itachi or to use him for the ninja interests. We were always friends and we always knew what we could, or not, tell the other. More than that, we knew we could trust the other."

"Why are you telling me this?" Shisui inquired, his head aching with heat of the fire and the intensity of the information he was receiving. Why was that man there? Why was he telling him that? Why was he facing him, on his land, just to talk about Itachi?

"Because you're hurting him over something ridiculous" Kurama stated, his light coloured eyes reflecting the burning flames. "He's in love with you, samurai. So much in love with you that he prefers to be in the constant torture of watching you every day with your fiancé, of being around you and your oblivious happiness, than to leave the samurai palace. I offered him several ways out of that torture: coming to my village, moving to a commoners city and change his name, going to a mountain to train under a powerful master, countless of possibilities I offered him, and he never accepted them so he could be at your side. That's how much he loves you."

"I... I didn't know he was..."

"Of course you didn't know, how could you possibly? Itachi hides his emotions even from himself, how could you have realised his feelings?" the ninja asked, a small smirk on his face. "He tortured himself for years before he told you. And now... do you have any idea how much you're hurting him?"

"I am not-"

"I don't care!" Kurama roared, cutting Shisui's sentence. Anger was starting to cover his marked features. Shisui shivered with the intensity of the other man's words and he was hating that creature even more by the second. "Itachi is very important to me, samurai, and you're hurting him. I never did anything up until now because it was his choice to be in pain. Now it's not his choice anymore, so I can play the game like you two are playing" the redhead breathed in slowly before continuing. "I'm giving you a warning: stop hurting Itachi or I'm going to take him with me. And trust me when I say that if I want something, I get it."

"You can't abduct a samurai just like that!" Shisui growled, reaching for his katana again, his hate exploding in his chest, incredible rage taking over him. "Who do you think you are to threaten to take Itachi from me?"

"I am a creature that is not human and far too powerful for you to handle. And I just dragged you into a different dimension without you even realising it. Do you actually believe you can stop me from taking Itachi with me if I really want to?" Kurama laughed, shaking his head, before staring deeply inside the samurai's dark eyes. "Stop hurting my lover, Uchiha Shisui. Or I'll make sure you'll never see him again."

Shisui stepped forward to attack but he was suddenly in the middle of a snowy forest once again. No sign of the bonfire or Kurama. He screamed, infuriated, cursing the ninja and the gods that allowed that man to cross his path. How dared that ninja saying those things to him? Worse! How dared him to threaten to take Itachi? And who the hell did he think he was calling Itachi his  _lover_?

**xxx**

"Your ninja talked to me last night," Shisui said in a low tone when Itachi entered his chambers the next morning. He hadn't slept the entire night; his conversation with the redhead being played over and over again in his mind. Shisui hated Kurama like he never thought he could hate someone. And, in the very first hour of the dawn, Shisui understood exactly why he hated the ninja. "You knew him since you were five?"

The younger samurai froze his movements and turned his head to his cousin. Itachi stood in silence, looking at the man who was sitting in an armchair, like he was measuring if he should answer or not. Closing his eyes for a second, Itachi decided to play clean.

"I was running in the forest near the village during a battle when I ran into a redhead kid that had a few tails made of fire" Itachi's voice came out like velvet, letting Shisui know how dearly that memory was for him. And that only made the older Uchiha clench his teeth harder. "I remember that I stopped and stared at the kid and asked about the fire tails. The kid gave me a weird look and asked if I had never seen a fox. I remembered a very old tale grandma used to tell me about a fox spirit with nine tails that walked the earth before the samurai, so I thought the kid was the spirit and never asked him again about the tails. We ran away from the battlefield and hid and talked for a few hours before it was safe to return. I thought I would never see the fox kid again, but a few weeks later, there he was, in the forest."

"You kept meeting with him for all these years?" Shisui questioned, his eyes never leaving the frozen garden outside his window, and Itachi nodded. "When did you find out he was a ninja? Or better, the head of the clan?"

"Kurama never hid anything from me, Shisui," the younger samurai told, looking away. "I always knew he was a ninja, the same way I always knew he was going to be the Head of the Clan" he hesitated for a moment before turning his face to his cousin again and continuing. "The same way he never hid the fact that he isn't human."

"If he isn't human with a trick to  _change sex_ ," Shisui spat his last words, finally turning his enraged eyes to glare at Itachi. His hands were clenching the arms of the chair with too much strength and his temperament was clearly unsettled. "Then what the fucking hell is he?"

"Did you hear what I just told you?" Itachi questioned in a tone no louder than a whisper. His cold mask was on, emotions controlled like he didn't even have any. Shisui hissed, mad. He couldn't understand Itachi at that point, not anymore. Why was he so calm? Why was he being friends with a bloody ninja? Why wasn't he the little kid Shisui adored so damn much anymore? Who was that man standing in front of him, without a single drop of feeling running on his veins? "I said Kurama had a few tails made of fire when I first met him and at I thought he was the fox spirit grandma told me about."

"In the tale grandma told us about there wasn't a fox spirit, it was an extremely powerful nine tailed demon fox named  _Kyuubi no Youko(2)_ that haunted the Fire Empire centuries ago, before an old sage cursed the beast and locked it inside a human body" Shisui corrected, rolling his eyes. "And what does that tale have to do with the ninja not being human?"

"Kurama had  _nine_  tails made of fire when I met him, Shisui" Itachi breathed and Shisui rose an eyebrow. What exactly was his cousin trying to say? "He was still learning how to control the transition from his original form to his his human one. He was rushing, trying to get away from the battlefield before someone saw him, so he couldn't hide his tails decently."

"Itachi... what exactly...?"

"Kurama has more power in a single hand than the entire Samurai Army will ever have" the younger declared and Shisui rose abruptly from his chair. That wasn't possible! "I've seen him doing things that would made the council shit their hakamas and I truly believe he wasn't even showing me half of his power."

"The demon of the tale was exactly that: a tale! You can't possibly come here and tell me that  _Kyuubi no Youko_  is a ninja, Itachi, because I won't believe in that!" Shisui growled, stepping forward until he was a couple of feet away from his cousin. Shisui felt like he was pulled inside a wicked dream or under the effect of a powerful drug.

"You asked what Kurama is and I answered you honestly" the younger samurai kept Shisui's gaze, watching while his cousin's eyes widened more and more as the true meaning of those worlds was sinking in. "The demon that was trapped inside human bodies for centuries got his freedom and chose to live his life as a human. He born into the ninja clan because the last human host was Namikaze Minato's wife, Kushina. But Kurama is Kyuubi, Shisui. I have no doubt about that!"

Shisui felt his legs giving up and he only had time to stable himself on a hall next to Itachi before his insides started to crumble. His stomach contracted and his chest burned and ached and he was sure he was about to throw up. Gasping for air, Shisui grabbed Itachi's robes and pulled the younger samurai to him, pressing their bodies together and staring directly into dark eyes.

"Is that why you're involved with that creature?" Shisui interrogated, his face a inch away from Itachi, his breathing scraping the younger's face. "It is, isn't it? You sacrifice your body to that thing so he doesn't attack the samu-"

"No!" Itachi hissed, pushing Shisui further against the hall and stepping back. Disgust could be seen on Itachi's face for a second before the cold mask was back on. Shisui had his eyes widened, his body trembling and his soul cracking with every new second. "My deal with Kurama is mutual: we don't attack, they don't attack. And it has nothing to do with what I have with him! I told you the other night: the deal is the deal, sex is sex. One has nothing to do with the other!"

Shisui punched the hall and turned around, leaning his forehead in the cold material, closing his eyes and trying to recollect his breath. He was a mess of feelings and emotions on that moment. He had been a mess for the past few weeks, but on that instant he was the most confused and screwed up he had ever been. Itachi didn't want to get married, Itachi was fucking Neji, Itachi was fucking a ninja, Itachi was in love with him, the ninja Itachi was fucking was the head of the ninja clan and a demon that wasn't supposed to be real and, even so, Itachi enjoyed the sex so damn much he couldn't care less.

"Where did I fail you?" Shisui whispered to the hall, agony tainting his chest, spreading slowly like dark ink in cold water. He hated that feeling. He hated the fact that he couldn't control what was happening. He hated that  _Kurama_  knew Itachi better than him. He hated that he was losing his little cousin and none of his words or actions seemed to be changing that. "Where? I really don't know what did I do wrong! I should be the one knowing you the best. I should have been able to see what you were doing and stopping it! I should-!"

"Stop" Itachi breathed at Shisui's ear, making the older samurai open his eyes and shiver with the delicacy of Itachi's touch on his back. The younger's hand was spread between Shisui's shoulderblades and Itachi's nose was brushing the shell of Shisui's ear. The future emperor knew how unintentional Itachi's gesture was, but that didn't stop his body to quiver at the touch. "You didn't fail me, Shisui."

In a second, the breath was gone and the hand was gone and Itachi was already walking away, ending that conversation as abruptly as it had started.

"Would it be any different," Shisui questioned in a outworn tone, making Itachi stop one last time at the door frame. "Would you not be doing all this if you could love... me... freely?"

Itachi stood there, frozen, for a moment. And then he walked away, leaving Shisui broken and shattered inside without an answer.

**xxx**

"You're too quiet today, Shisui-san. Is everything ok?" Hinata's calm and sweet voice dragged Shisui back into reality. It was the day before their wedding and the Uchiha was as confused and depressed as ever. He had seen Itachi briefly on the day before and he hadn't seen the man on that day yet. They didn't change another word since Shisui's unanswered question and Itachi was clearly avoiding his cousin. Shisui didn't know what to do and his mind was so messed up he wasn't even sure what exactly he was thinking and feeling about the entire situation. And, on top of all that, he was getting married on the very next day.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Hinata. I haven't got much sleep lately and I have a lot in my mind right now," he apologize, giving his fiancé a soft smile. They were both sat in a bench in one of the palace's inner gardens. Hinata had a white flower in her hand and, even if her wedding day was very next one, she seemed serene and at peace. "You look calm."

"I am" she turned her head to him and smiled. "I'm fated to marry you since the moment I was born and I feared that fate when I was a little girl. But then, I started to pay more attention to you and we started to talk a little bit at the time and... we might not be in love with each other, Shisui-san, but I believe we are very good friends. And everyone knows that a strong and lasting marriage is based on a strong friendship so, yes, I am calm."

Shisui smiled at her. The first real smile he showed in long weeks. Hinata really was something amazing and Shisui was sure she was fated to do great things as Empress. He sighed, thinking how mature she was for her age. He felt like a kid compared to her on that moment. She wasn't a little girl dreaming with prince charming, she knew what was expected of them and she had no illusions to their current relationship. There was no love between them, only friendship. And that was all that mattered.

"Hinata, what..." he hesitated for a moment, consider if he was really going to ask a fifteen year old girl that. "What do you think love is? I mean... how do you think it should feel like?"

"I'm not sure... but I don't think love is pretty like the maids say it is," she answered, looking at the flower in her hands. "They say love is when you feel like you couldn't be happier and that the person you're in love with is just everything you ever dreamt of but..."

"But?" Shisui was curious. He didn't have a concrete definition for love, but he always thought love was something like the maids were saying: happiness and joy and warm. But then Itachi confessed to him and all he saw was pain, sadness and sorrow. Kurama met with him and talked about torture and hurt. And Shisui was confused.

"But I don't think love is all rainbows and butterflies, I think love hurts most of the time" she confessed and Shisui saw a dark shadow cover the young girl's pale eyes. "There are so many rules about love on the samurai code. According to the code, my sister, for example, can't love a commoner, she can't love a butler, she can't love a low rank samurai, she can't love a girl, she can't love someone who is not from the Fire Empire, she can't love someone from another clan who isn't the heir, she can't love the second son of a healthy family..." she sighed, tilting her head back. "But what if she does love someone I listed before? Can she fight for that love? No, she would be punished and the person she loved would be killed. Like life isn't nefarious enough, allowing a person to love someone who doesn't love them back, we still have a code to tell us who we can or can not love."

"Do you think the code is wrong?" Shisui inquired, a heavy feeling on his chest. "The code was created so we could maintain the order and our society could work decently. We wouldn't make it without the code."

"Please don't take what I'm about to tell you in a wrong way, Shisui-san" Hinata pleaded, turning her face to her husband-to-be. "As future Empress, I was obligated to study everything about the Fire Empire, from it's history to every clan that lives in our lands, I had to study it all. And, as I was reading about the Ninja clan, I became mesmerized. Their clan is older than ours, they don't have a code like we do and, still, they not only survive to the day, but they are strong and powerful enough to have become our main enemy. Even without a code, they are a strong clan, with strong bonds between them and a strong sense of society. They love who they love without prejudice, without rules, without torture. They are happy people. Truly happy people. And yet, here we are, calling them savages."

"You know" Shisui started, looking at the younger girl with a tired expression but a sort of adoration sparkling on his eyes. She was right... She was absolutely right. "You're going to be a damn great Empress. And I'm going to be damn proud of you."

**xxx**

The night before his wedding, Shisui was furious. Itachi was still missing and he was mad that the younger samurai was avoiding him like the plague. Shisui understood that it wasn't easy for Itachi to be around him so close to his wedding, but Itachi was his cousin, his best friend and his special guard. Shisui needed Itachi near him on that moment and, as far as he was concerned, the younger Uchiha had vanished from the palace and no one had seen him in the past two days. The two tailors that were fixing the last details of his wedding kimono were stressed with Shisui's mood, after all, that man was the future emperor consort and General of the Army. None of the two tailors wanted to ignite Shisui's fury, and none of them could actually understand what was wrong with the samurai. So when Genma, a high ranked samurai that served Hanabi-hime, entered Shisui's chambers to inform the heir of the Army about something frivolous, the two tailors watched as the always calm Shisui exploded right in front of them.

"Where the bloody hell is Itachi?!" he growled, flashing a flaming look to Genma, as the man was guilty of all Shisui's problems.

"I have no idea, Shisui-san" Genma answered, his usually lazy tone a little shaken. "No one has seen Itachi since yesterday. I believe your father was the last to meet him."

"My father?" the Uchiha inquired, turning to fully face Genma with a confused expression. "Why would Itachi meet with my father?"

"Still no idea" Genma said. "Neji saw him entering the council room when your father was there alone. But as you can imagine, Neji didn't stay to hear their conversation."

"Find Itachi!" Shisui's ordered and, when Genma was about to protest - after all, he was at Hanabi-hime's service – the Uchiha growled at him. "Do what I just told you or there will be consequences!"

Genma nodded and left the room, leaving Shisui with the two scared tailors. The Uchiha knew that wasn't his usual behaviour and that the only reason he was losing it was because the person involved was Itachi. Their last meeting didn't go as smooth as Shisui's thought and he desperately needed to talk to his cousin, one last time, before his wedding.

An hour passed before the two tailors finish his wedding kimono and still no sign of Itachi. When the two men left, Shisui's aura was darker than night and his patience was almost at his limit. Cursing, he dressed the first set of clothes he found on his chiffonier and he was about to leave his room to search the palace himself when Itachi opened the door and entered without a noise.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" Shisui cursed even louder, glaring at his cousin. "I'm trying to reach you since our last talk and-"

"And I've been avoiding you," Itachi cut his words with a serene but gritty voice, forcing Shisui to step back in apprehension. What was that tone on Itachi's voice, what was that confidence and why was his usual cold mask freezing on that moment? "Which is not an easy thing to do when you're yelling at everyone to find me."

"I said something I probably shouldn't and you disappeared. It's not like you can blame me!" the older Uchiha hissed, still trying to place what exactly was wrong with Itachi's posture and attitude. He sighed, looking at the window. "I kinda need you right now... My wedding is tomorrow and I'm not sure if I should-"

"I'm leaving before dawn, Shisui" Itachi's words came out cold and clear, stabbing Shisui's heart, and the older Uchiha was caught out of breathe by it. "I won't be here for your wedding."

"You're what?!" the future general growled, turning so violently to face his cousin that his neck cracked. His eyes were widened and his blood felt like poison burning his veins with sudden despair. Was he hallucinating? Were his deepest fears forcing torturing visions on his mind? "What the fuck are you talking about, Itachi?"

"I've been in contact with Uchiha Madara for a few months, now" Itachi confessed, not shaken by his cousin's shocked posture. "He said he would train me and help me reach a new level of power if I went to the mountains to train under his supervision. I accepted his offer and I'll be leaving before dawn."

"W-why?" was the only thing Shisui could articulate on that moment. His body was rigid, his insides were tearing themselves apart and his heart was beating so fast and strongly, Shisui feared it might collapse. That wasn't happening. That couldn't be happening.

"Why am I leaving to train under the most powerful Samurai in History?" Itachi inquired, shaking his head in disbelief. "I think the name _Uchiha Madara_  is enough to explain why."

"But... but I need you at my side tomorrow" Shisui's voice was low and irregular, his body was trembling, his emotions were starting to crumble. He felt the floor sliding away from his feet without nothing he could do to stop it. "I need you in the army with me..."

"I thought you didn't want me in the front line" Itachi said, trying to ignore the horrified look on Shisui's face. "By training with Madara, I'm out of the front line. If I stay here, I'll be sent to certain death in the first battle." he paused for a second, like considering what to say next. "It's only a year. I'm only going to the mountains for a year."

"Are you really going to Uchiha Madara?" Shisui questioned in a breath, closing his fists and clenching his jaw. His mind was fuzzy and a powerful whirl of thoughts was making his head ache. "Or are you saying that as an excuse to go to that redhead?"

"If I was going to meet Kurama, I wouldn't need an excuse" the younger samurai declared, looking away and sighing. "I would just leave the palace without a word and join the ninja. Why would I be using Madara's name for something I don't need an excuse for?"

"Then you're just leaving  _me_..." Shisui muttered, like all hope was lost for a happy ending. "Is it because of the wedding?"

"The wedding was the deadline for me to go to Madara" Itachi confessed, still not looking at his cousin. "I wanted to leave last year but... I guessed I could handle a few more months. I was wrong."

"Itachi-"

"Goodbye, Shisui" he said, watching his cousin's features get even more pale than usual. "Have a good wedding and please take care."

Itachi turned his back and walked out of Shisui's chambers before the older samurai could say anything. Itachi was leaving. And he wasn't leaving for the ninja, he was simply leaving. Leaving because he wanted to get more power? Itachi? The one that never really cared if he was the most promising samurai or not? The one that never entered a samurai competition because he never cared about being number one? Itachi was leaving to become stronger?

_He's leaving you._

A voice echoed inside Shisui's head and he wanted desperately to slash it in two for stating the hurtful truth. Itachi wasn't leaving to become stronger, Itachi was leaving because he couldn't handle being at Shisui's side anymore.

_Do you have any idea how much you're hurting him?_

Kurama's angered face showed up in Shisui's mind, remembering him of something he didn't need to be remembered of. Itachi was hurting because of him. Because Shisui's was so proud that he knew Itachi so well when, in reality, he knew nothing about his best friend. Itachi was hurting because Shisui's couldn't notice the younger's feelings. Itachi was leaving because Shisui was an imbecile that couldn't see the truth right in front of his eyes. Cursing, Shisui slammed an angry fist against the wall and swallowed a furious scream.

Itachi was leaving. And he was the only one to blame.

**xxx**

Itachi closed the door of his room and let the painful breath he was holding since he was with Shisui out. He felt his body shiver and he was almost dragged to his knees by a sudden wave of realization.

He had said goodbye. He wouldn't be seeing Shisui again. And it was harder than he thought it could be.

He was angered and furious, he wanted to destroy the entire room, he was madly frustrated by the rules of being a fucking samurai. And, above all, he was hating himself so damn much for being weak and fool to the point of actually falling in love.

A samurai in love... how ridiculous was that?  _Very!_  he thought, cursing aloud and walking to his window, opening it and feeling the freezing winter cold piercing his body. He needed to recollect himself, find his cold mask and put it on again, wearing it proudly, like his insides weren't broken. It was just a stupid feeling, it wouldn't break his will and it wouldn't break him. If ordinary people could survive love, so could he.

The door of his room bursted open and Shisui walked inside, slamming the door shut behind him. Itachi turned around with widened eyes, confused, facing his cousin and the clear sorrow that was painted on Shisui's face. The older Uchiha locked his eyes with Itachi and clenched his jaw for a second before speaking in a very low and breathy voice.

"You're not coming back!" it was not a question and Itachi knew it perfectly. His heart shattered a little bit more before Shisui's disconcerted emotions. "I hurt you too much for you to leave for a year, forget the pain and come back. That's your plan, isn't it? To go to Madara and never come back!"

"Shisui..." Itachi muttered, the coldness of his cracked mask melting slowly with the urge and sadness of Shisui's words. The older samurai had hit the point with extraordinary precision. Itachi didn't want him to know about his true intentions. He didn't want to see Shisui's devastated expression. He didn't want to feel the crushing strength of Shisui's emotions.

"I mean... I wouldn't come back in these circumstances. So why would you?" Shisui questioned rhetorically, forcing a sad chuckle out of his mouth, a trembling hand messing his spiky hair. "You do have a masochist side in you, but not to this extent. You won't be coming back. Am I wrong?"

Itachi sighed, closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. His mind was fuzzy with a whirl of thoughts and Shisui being like that in front of him wasn't helping the situation at all. Itachi only needed to answer the right thing, watch Shisui leave and get the hell out of the Samurai palace. It was an easy thing to do. Wasn't it?

"No, you're not wrong" the younger confessed, opening his eyes and looking away, arms crossed so the trembling on his limbs wouldn't be noticed. "There're a few calm and quiet villages near the mountain Marada is currently living in. I thought that disappearing and going there wouldn't be a bad choice."

Shisui grabbed his hair and turned around, the anger and frustration and sorrow clear as water on his actions. He cursed out loud and hissed before facing his cousin again. He was desperate, Itachi could tell that, so desperate his mind wasn't working correctly. Shisui was being controlled by emotions instead of rationality. And Itachi was afraid of Shisui's emotions.

"Will I know where you'll be living?" he question was simple and painful. Shisui just didn't get it, did he? "Will I be able to visit?"

"Shisui..." Itachi called, stepping forward and looking deeply into his cousin's dark eyes. It was time to rip off the band-aid. "It's not the Samurai that I'm leaving. It's you." he closed his eyes to not see Shisui's reaction to his words. He felt like a coward. "I can't be around you anymore, I'm sorry. But it's too painful."

"You can't be around me, or you can't be around me when following the Samurai rules?" Shisui interrogated and Itachi rose his head before his cousin's croaky tone. "Would you remain around me if these rules didn't exist?"

"Don't do this again, Shisui, we already-"

"Stay with me" Shisui's voice was so gruff that Itachi barely missed the sparkle of hope in it.

"What?!" Itachi bursted, eyes widened, heart beating faster than a hummingbird's wings. He didn't believe in what he heard. After all Shisui had learned about Itachi's feelings and reasons, was he really asking him that? "What did you say?"

"Don't go. Don't leave me. Stay. Please."

**xxx**

Selfish. That was exactly how Shisui was feeling. Selfish because he was putting himself above all, selfish because he knew his cousin's pain and, even so, he would dare to ask him to stay. He was nothing other than a selfish and despicable creature that didn't deserve the title he would be inheriting in a few hours. Selfish and dirty, with no dignity.

"You can't ask me that!" Itachi growled, turning around and punching the wall at his side. He was breaking apart and Shisui was only making it worse. "You can't come into my room when I'm preparing to finally leave this hell and plead to me to stay! You don't get to do that, Shisui! I won't allow you!"

"I don't want to be here without you, Itachi, I'm sorry. I can't let you go. I need you here!" Shisui stated, walking to his cousin and slightly touching his arm. Itachi's immediate reaction was to jolt away from the other's touch. "I'll do anything to have you next to me. And I mean _anything_. So yes, I get to do this, because there's no fucking way in hell I'm losing you."

"Do you have any idea of what you're asking me?!" Itachi hissed, narrowed, mad eyes glaring at the other samurai. "Do you have any idea how deep is the pain that I live with everyday because I'm always at your side, but can't have you?"

"I said  _anything_!" Shisui declared, grabbing Itachi's arm strongly and returning the glare. "I'll do anything that you asked me. I'll be-"

"YOU CAN'T!" Itachi growled, twisting his arm to get free from Shisui's touch and forcing his cousin against the wall, pinning him there with his hands. Mad eyes piercing Shisui's soul. "You'll be dead if you even try to do anything that I asked for. Stop being a fool and just let me go!"

"Why would I?!" Shisui interrogated, returning his cousin's glare and getting mad with Itachi's reaction to his words. He was only trying to make the things simpler. Why couldn't Itachi understand it? "Neji didn't-"

"I don't fucking care about Neji!" Itachi bursted, punching the wall near Shisui's face, lowering his eyes to the floor. His last resistance shattering in small pieces and falling apart. His voice was no longer strong and determined, but low and tired. So, so tired. "I don't care about him, so I kick him out of my room as soon as I'm satisfied. And..." he paused, hands trembling over the grip he had on Shisui's clothes, eyes still facing the floor. "That wouldn't happen if it was you. We would get too comfortable, and too careless and we would be caught and killed."

"Itachi..." Shisui muttered, his hands softly holding his cousin's wrists.

"Besides!" the younger cut the other's sentence and finally rose his head to meet Shisui's eyes. The fire of the determination was there once again. He wouldn't lose this last battle. "I would never ask you such things when you don't feel about me the same way I feel about you." he watched as Shisui opened his mouth, but there were no words after that. Sighing, Itachi continued. "I'm not staying, Shisui. Not even after you asked me to. I  _can't_  stay."

"Fine..." the older one nodded, gruffed voice filling the room. "Then I'm going with you!"

The stunning look on Itachi's face was to die for. The younger samurai stepped back, like he just received an electrical shock from his cousin. Shisui has gone insane, completely insane.

"I told you I don't want to be here without you" Shisui hold the astonished look he was receiving from Itachi. "So, if I can't convince you to stay, then I'm going with you."

"You are completely ridiculous!" Itachi declared, cold and directly, without a trace of doubt on his voice. Shisui rose a questioning eyebrow. "Hinata-sama is the only chance the Samurai have to actually survive this war! She's the only one that wants a peace treaty as much as I do and she's the only one that acknowledges what will happen to the Samurai if this peace treaty won't be signed soon. But for her to be strong enough to face the entire council and to force them to an agreement with the Ninja she needs to have you, the General of the Army, by her side!"

"She can get another General to-"

"No, she can't!" Itachi stated and Shisui widened his eyes before his cousin's harsh tone. That was unbelievable! "Every single Samurai thinks too highly of ourselves to believe, even for a brief moment, that the Ninja can exterminate us. No one that's not you will side with her against the council for something everyone thinks it's an insanity or a delusional thought."

"And you think I'll be the only one that will have Hinata's back on that matter?" Shisui asked, dubious of Itachi's intentions. "Why?"

"Because you care about Hinata-sama and you actually listen to her" the younger answered, passing a hand through his hair. "And you know who Kurama is." the tension in the room suddenly rose by the mention of that name. "So, no, Shisui. You can't leave! You can't come with me. You just can't."

"But, Itachi-"

"Enough!" Itachi declared, sighing. He closed his eyes, a defeated expression twisting his always calm and controlled features. He looked so tired... "Is time for you to leave, Shisui. We need to be mature right now and the correct thing for you to do is to leave without any further complication."

Shisui felt an invisible katana slash his heart in two. It was like all hope had been ripped out of his chest, like a powerful force was pushing him back while Itachi kept walking. Why did it hurt so badly? Why was it so hard to accept? Why couldn't he let his cousin go and be happy? Why was his heart aching so much, he truly believed it was bleeding internally?

Why was it so hard to walk away?

Shisui wasn't sure what was happening when he felt his body reaching for Itachi's warmth. He wasn't in control when his arms entangled themselves around Itachi's torso, forcing the younger's back against his chest, and securing him there, like there was the only place he should be. And when Itachi tried to jerk away from his touch, he only held him closer, nuzzling the younger's hair, tearing all their emotions in a frenzy, and whispering their death sentence to Itachi's nape.

"How could I let you go?" his voice sounded low and hoarse, but his words were firm and certain. And he knew the only reason he wasn't flying against the closest wall was because Itachi was so tired, so exhausted of all that, he didn't even care anymore. "I don't want to let you go! I don't want you away from me! I can't...  _Damn it, Itachi!_ "

He held his cousin's body closer, grabbing his vests strongly, burying his face on the younger's neck, breathing the scent he was about to lose forever. And from the bottom of his heart, from the roots of his soul, came the realization he should have had years before that moment.

"I want you" his hot and moist breathe brushed Itachi's ear, forcing a strong shiver to come down the younger's spine. "I want you so much!" and even if all his words were finally correct, even when his mind was finally accepting and recognizing all that intense and inebriate feeling that was controlling him completely, Shisui knew the hurtful and ugly truth. "I'm sorry if it's too late. I'm so sorry, Itachi, so truly sorry." It was too late. So,  _so_  late. "But I want you so much it's maddening!"

"How come you're saying that when I'm about to leave?" Itachi's voice sounded rusty and shallow, like he was no more than an abandoned and empty vessel. "How dare you to say that when you know there's no other option for us?!" he hissed, trying to control the trembling on his body, not being psychologically strong enough to escape Shisui's arms. "Let me go, Shisui! Don't make this harder for us. Just let me go."

"No" he whispered, nuzzling dark tresses oh so softly, a hand daring to caress the porcelain skin of Itachi's neck. "I'm not letting you go."

"You will regret this!" Itachi growled, hurt painted on his voice, his body tense, arms rigid along his torso. Itachi's soul was pleading to let him go and deeply wishing that he wouldn't. A perfect antithesis scrambling his feelings around like toys. "You will regret this, Shisui."

"I can regret all choices I made until today, Itachi" Shisui declared, sighing and brushing his lips on the other samurai's pale shoulder. "I might regret Hinata, I might regret the Army, I might regret every single moment of my correct and boring life!" his arms loosen the tight grip on Itachi body and they were facing each other in a few seconds. The cold and calculist samurai was exhausted, showing clear signs of giving up. There was no way he could keep fighting that. Not when there was nothing more to fight. And calloused hands caressed Itachi's face, foreheads leant against each other, breathings mixed together in middle air and the softest of the smiles drew itself on Shisui's face. "But I could never regret you."

Itachi's last drop of sanity shattered in pieces when he felt his own lips against Shisui's, kissing him eagerly, like a starving wild animal fighting for his only prey. The kiss wasn't soft or romantic, it wasn't cute or sentimental. It was rough and hard, with sharp bites and a desperate need for more. More intensity, more contact, more feeling, more!

Shisui's yukata was ripped away from his shoulders in a fast and troubled move. Itachi's hands were on him, undressing him, feeling his skin, memorizing every inch of that body he would never touch again. And Shisui was lost in so much passion and need and raw necessity of having the younger samurai. He needed more of Itachi's touch, more of his scent, more of his heat, more, more, more. And another kiss wasn't enough, and another touch wasn't enough, and another piece of shattering hearts wasn't enough. They needed to tear each other apart to be able to feel what they've been denying for so long and now was too late to have it all.

Shisui's calves hit against Itachi's bed frame and both fell down on the mattress. Half tangled on their yukatas, arms and hands grabbing and pushing each other, mouths never letting go, eager tongues begging for more every time they needed to breath. Hurt, despair, need, passion. Shisui felt all that and he didn't want it to stop. His hands roamed harshly against Itachi's skin, marking it in red, corrupting the paleness and tainting the porcelain Shisui thought of so perfect. Lustful moans filled the air along passionate kissing sounds and whispered pleas of a future that couldn't exist.

Long tresses colored the mattress in black when Shisui turned them around. The kiss was longing for something else as the last shreds of clothing were finally allowing skin to meet the pure heat of the other's skin. The feeling was overwhelming and Shisui felt dizzy with all that intensity. He wanted to stop time on that moment so he could take a second to look at his lover, bathed by the contrasting sheen of the moonlight. He wanted to stop time so he could have Itachi forever.

If only time could be that merciful.

He moaned loudly when a sharp movement pressed his throbbing erection against his cousin's and he heard a quiet chuckle on his neck before it being kissed. His insides melted for instances, right before another fierce kiss turned, once more, all them into burning desire. The feeling of their rock hard erections rubbing together was maddening. Shisui could never thought a simple friction could be so insanely hot. Their bodies were sweaty and vigorous, their souls lost in pure temptation, divided by kisses and bites, scratches and thrusts, moans and whispers for more.

The dim of the room washed the doubt of breaking a kiss and looking the other in the eyes away. Dark onix met deep charcoal and Shisui was sure his heart was no longer beating, so much was the emotion running vividly in his veins.

"I don't-" he started, his voice was supposed to sound soft, but the residues of their passion made it husky and low. Itachi placed a finger on his lover's lips to prevent him to continue his sentence.

"But I do" he muttered, hoarse voice reciting a silent plea that would never be said out loud.

Shisui found himself once again on his back, the weight of his lover pressing him deliciously onto the mattress while butterfly kisses drew a path down his chest, between his abs, and played along his navel. His vision was blurry and messy, but the feeling was so surreal he wasn't even sure he was still alive. A lick on his lower abs made his sensitive cock jolt with pleasure. A nip on the delicate skin of his inner thigh, and Shisui truly believed that heaven did existed on earth when the tip of Itachi's tongue licked softly the head of his hard erection, taking it into his mouth and sucking slowly.

The heat was taking control of his body, making him moan and gasp for air at every new tongue twist or lick. Losing it was clearly an euphemism for Shisui's current situation. He tangled his fingers on Itachi's long hair, his back arching from the bed, body lost in pure raw pleasure he didn't know it was possible to feel.

Itachi laced his fingers with Shisui's, pulling the older's upper body from the mattress. A last suck on the red gland and he was again in full contact with his lover, skin on skin, storming emotions clashing a duel of kings. Shisui wanted more. He wanted Itachi's kiss, the warmth of his body, the texture of his skin, the pulsing of his cock so deliciously felt on Shisui's lower abdomen. Tongues claimed each other while arms and hands forced the bodies together again. And Shisui felt a light pressure on the tip of his aching cock a few moments before a burning heat consumed his flesh.

"Fuck!" the exclamation left his mouth while vicious teeth were possessing his neck, biting softly and sucking, the pace perfectly in sync with the velocity of the maddening heat spreading through his erection. And then Itachi moved and he thought that nothing else could be more pleasurable in the world. He held onto Itachi, grabbing his back, facing his fire, burning in the desire of their rhythm.

Shaky movements and frantic breathings, too far gone into intensity, too far lost in the loud moans of the room, too far into a feeling that would never be felt again.

Shisui turned them around, fast and hard thrusts and a furiously desperate kiss ripped the insane sensation of pure oblivation onto their bodies and minds. All the pleasure of the climax roaming through their veins as the last celebration of their death sentence. Reasoning lost to lust and love would now always lose to hurt. Their first and only moment together would end there, between pós-orgasmic pants and the bitter taste of the cold realization.

And they would always remember that as the mistake they should have never done and would never truly regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Grows and contaminates/ Forbid the life's light/ That after all teaches, breaks/ Bend the pain and hands over sincere love.
> 
> (2) Kyuubi no Youko - is a nine-tailed fox spirit in Japanese, Korean, and Chinese mythology.


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only reason this epilogue exists is because my plot betas almost ripped my head off when I told them the fic was supposed to end with the previous chapter. This is not an "omg, I'm gonna die!" kind of epilogue. This is just something to give the fic a more proper ending.

**Epilogue**

Shisui woke up to a cold and empty bed the next morning. For seconds he thought it had all be a dream, but Itachi's room and the intense smell of sex only made his reality worse. Cold and empty, that was exactly how he felt.

He married Hinata with dead eyes and a fake smile on his face. He was named "General of the Army" and watched his wife became Empress with no emotion, no feeling, nothing but extreme apathy. He mourned his loss for three days and three nights and, in the very next sunrise, he was once again the Shisui everyone knew. The bright, the smile, the enthusiasm, the vivid soul, everything that made Shisui himself was back. And Hinata smiled to him in response, relieved that her partner had finally returned.

Five years had passed since their wedding day. Five years since Hinata had became Empress. Five years of Shisui as the General of the Army, who was stronger than ever. And from those five years, four of them Itachi was considered missing. He had vanished after leaving Madara's place and never came back to the Palace. Questions were raised for more than a year, several searches conducted, but answers never came. Shisui felt a heavy feeling of sadness on his chest when he heard Itachi was missing. He knew that was his cousin's plan since the very beginning, but he had hoped, oh yes, he had hoped, that Itachi would return to the palace, to him. During those four years, Shisui always wondered where Itachi was. Maybe a small village near the palace so he could have an eye on the imperial family? Maybe in a quiet place where Itachi could practice and meditate in peace? Would he be happy? Would he think about Shisui? Would he have a lover? Shisui kept asking himself that. And he really wanted to believe that his cousin was living happily and peacefully somewhere in the fire empire.

By the beginning of her fifth year as Empress, Hinata was able to convince the samurai council that a peace treaty with the ninja was the best for their nation. The samurai choose a quiet village, in the countryside as the meeting place to sign the peace treaty with the ninja. All the preparations were done; all samurai were on their positions and Hinata was patiently waiting for the ninja to show up. Shisui was at her side, as her husband and bodyguard. Everything was ready to receive the ninja and Shisui could tell everyone was nervous. Even Hinata.

The sun was starting to descend and the light was getting weaker. A guard announced the presence of a silhouette in the closer horizon and the tension and anxiety of the moment rose among the samurai. With that silhouette, a few others appeared, but they were clearly no more than six or seven. And they all remained silhouettes, hidden in their own shadows, with the exception of one, who came closer to the meeting point.

Kurama showed a confident look on his face when he entered Shisui's view. He walked in a steady pace until he was about thirty feet of the Empress. He took a small bow in respect and introduced himself. The conversation that followed went smoothly and it didn't take them more than a few minutes to review the conditions and to sign the treaty. Kurama gave Hinata a truthful and caring smile when they shook hands and said "You were one of the best things that ever happen to this country." Hinata smiled back, honoured, and Kurama returned to the horizon, where his companions were waiting for him.

Shisui let his guard down as soon as Kurama was far enough from them. He looked at his wife and she was so happy he couldn't help but smile as well, holding her hand. But that smile didn't last long as he turned his head to the horizon and saw a little child running into Kurama's arms. The ninja picked the child up, kissing the dark haired boy's cheek and getting a warm smile and a hug in return. Kurama kept walking and, in no time, they were nothing more than a silhouette as well as the other ninja. A male silhouette approached them, taking the child from Kurama's arms and kissing the redhead next. And Shisui's felt the taste of the bile coming to his mouth, like he had just been kicked hard in the stomach.

_It's not the Samurai that I'm leaving. It's you._

He had prayed every single night for Itachi to be okay. He had prayed to gods he never believed in, in hope that one of them would listen to his prays. He had asked for Itachi to be alive and happy. He really didn't care what kind of life his cousin was having as long as he was happy. That was what Shisui always believed in. That was what Shisui always prayed for.

But on that moment, with a glance of a small child and the shadow of a silhouette, Shisui knew that, even if he wished from the bottom of his heart, from the deeps of his soul, he couldn't be happy for a happiness that could have been his.

**\- Owari -**

* * *

**A.N.:**  For all of you who were expecting a happy ending, I'm sorry, it was not possible. A happy ending after the last chapter would mean someone went completely OOC and I try my best to keep my characters faithful to themselves.  
If you were expecting a mind-blowing epilogue, I'm sorry again, there was no way I could write something like that without writing another 25K+ fic about what happened after the wedding.


End file.
